Your Love For Him Led You to Me
by Uninhibitedimagination
Summary: Santana is emotionally closed off, she protects herself from others, until she meets Brittany. A story of why Brittany is the only exception to Santana's closed off exterior.
1. Chapter 1: Best Friends Since We Met

_**Author's Notes:**_

_** This is a story about Santana meeting and ultimately falling in love with Brittany. It will follow cannon for the most part. **_

_** There is a new character introduced in this story and it is through this chapter that Santana will grow and come to understand her love for Brittany. **_

_** This is a M rated story for future chapters, but since the story starts when they are 11, there will be a fair number of chapters before anything M happens.**_

_** Of course I do not own anything Glee related. This is merely a story!**_

_** This story is written from Brittany's POV, if you would prefer it from Santana's POV then read the accompanying story "My Love for Him Led Me to You."**_

_**I hope you enjoy the story! Let me know what you think! I will update as fast as possible!**_

* * *

Chapter 1 – Best Friends Since We Met June 2005

* * *

It was only a month ago that I was standing in the middle school gym trying out for the cheerleading squad. I didn't know much about cheerleading, but I knew it would give me the opportunity to dance and would help me make friends. My mom was a cheerleader when she was in high school, she thought me trying out was a great idea, especially since I loved to dance. I am great at dancing but I was still so nervous about trying out for the cheerleading squad.

My performance was judge by the middle school cheer coach and the captains of the eighth and seventh grade squads. There was also this national cheerleading coach there, she was insane. I think I was most terrified of her; she stood there shouting random comments and insults to all the girls. This girl Patty was trying out for the squad and this lady yelled "no fatties," Patty broke down into tears; I had to go next and was completely terrified. Thankfully my many years of dance lessons paid off. Everyone seemed impressed by my dancing and they especially loved my no handed cartwheel, even the crazy lady smiled at that, it was like she was making plans for the future. I was so excited to be made a member of the team, the coach gave me a letter and permission slips to take home to my parents as well as a packet of information.

The following week the cheer coach came to my elementary school for an information meeting with the parents of all the students who made the cheer squad. At this meeting we also had fittings done for our uniforms, we were required to have two practice uniforms and two game uniforms, a cheer gym bag, two pairs of white sneakers, four pairs of cheer socks, and at least four pairs of spanks. Quinn's dad made a huge donation to the squad, which paid for the whole squads practice uniforms and cheer bags, since my parents did not have to buy these they bought me two extra game uniforms and a lot of extra socks and spanks, they knew how I have a tendency to lose things. I was so excited to get all my new cheerleading stuff; coach said it would arrive in early June, just before cheer camp.

All cheerleaders were required to attend cheer camp. I was excited about cheer camp because I would finally get to meet all the cheerleaders that were selected for the team. According to our coach the sixth grade team had a total of fifteen cheerleaders, but not all of the cheerleaders came from my elementary school. There is this other elementary school in Lima Heights and some of the cheerleaders were from that school.

* * *

I have never been so nervous to go to a camp before, I have been to dance camps and church camps, but none of them made me nervous, not like this. I received my letter last week with a permission slip for my parents to sign as well as my dorm room assignment and the name of my roommate. My roommate's name is Santana Lopez, she is from the other elementary school. I'm really scared that this girl is going to like mug me or something, everybody tells me that Lima Heights is a dangerous part of town and to never go there. Now I will be sharing a room with someone from that part of town, of course that is only what people say, they could be wrong. I mean, last year that one girl told me that New York City was a big apple, but she was wrong. My parents took the family there for Christmas break and it is just a really big city, I couldn't find a single big apple there, not even in the park. So maybe Lima Heights isn't so bad, which means maybe my roommate won't mug me or beat me up with her shoe. I guess I will find out here soon.

"Brittany Susan Pierce! If you do not hurry you are going to miss the bus and be kicked off of the cheer squad!"

Crap, I need to hurry, Mom sounds like she is losing patience, ugh why am I always so slow at packing. I guess I should have packed last night instead of watching T.V., but my favorite show was on and I just couldn't miss it. Plus I didn't think packing would take this long, of course it didn't help that I slept in and took a really long hot shower, it was so relaxing.

I'm glad that I received all of my cheerleading stuff in the mail last week, especially my cheer bag, I would be so embarrassed if I had to show up to cheer camp using my mother's floral printed suitcase. I'm pretty sure it is the most hideous piece of luggage in existence. It looks like my eighty year old great grandmother's couch and smells even worse.

I'm really not sure what I should be packing, should I pack any normal clothes, will be going out anywhere, to like a movie or something. I guess I do not really have to time to consider such things so I'll pack a little of everything. I definitely need workout clothes and all my cheerleading stuff, umm I'll need some pajamas, and of course underwear, socks, and sports bras. I run to the bathroom next, I know I need to pack shower stuff and other random things I use to get ready in the morning. I hope all of this will fit into my cheer bag and that I can actually lift my bag once it is packed, I mean I am pretty strong but this is a lot of stuff, probably way more than I need.

My cheer bag looks as stuffed as my grandfather at Thanksgiving, there is no way I am going to fit another piece of anything in there. I grab my backpack and start throwing things in there. I grab my letter explaining the cheer camp rules, which is when I notice there was a recommended packing list on the letter, wish I had noticed that earlier it would have saved me so much time. I also grab the extra permission slip my mom had signed, I had already put one in my bag and my mom said she mailed one into the school before school was out for summer but I want to make sure that I had another one just in case. My kitten, Lord Tubbington, is pretty mischievous and so I have to make sure I look out for him. He likes to sneak into my backpack and steal things out of it. My parents gave him to me for Easter, best present ever, and he loves me a lot, perhaps too much because he never wants to leave my side, one day he snuck into my backpack and went to school with me. It was really hard to hide a kitten all day at school. I'm not sure what he is going to do without me for a whole week, I need to remind my mom to play with him and feed him and give him water; I really hope he doesn't think I forgot about him. But I can't take him with me, cheer camp is not like Hogwarts, you can't take pets with you to cheer camp.

"Brittany, now!"

"Coming Mom."

I heave my cheer bag over one shoulder and my backpack over the other, I feel so off balanced. Man, going downstairs is going to be tricky, instead of risking falling I decide it is a better idea to just let my cheer bag roll down the stairs. It crashes against the wood floor at the bottom of the stairs. I guess that would be my blow dryer, probably won't need it but I pretty much packed everything within arm's reach. Seconds later my mom and dad are both peering around the corner looking up the stairs at me, I give them a slight smirk _whoops_. My dad simply laughs at me, lifts my bag and heads towards the car with it.

"Brittany did you put Lord Tubbington in here and his cat food or something, this thing weighs a ton."

My dad is weird, Lord Tubbington is a little kitten, there is no way he and all of his cat food could weigh a ton.

"No dad, it's just my cheer stuff and bathroom stuff, who knew it would weigh so much."

I give my dad a quick hug good-bye and excitedly jump into the car. I need to stop doing this because every time I do I bonk my head on the door frame of the car. I click my seat belt and stare out my window, waiting anxiously for my mom. She looks happy right now, maybe even proud; I think she is excited for me. She gives my dad a kiss on the cheek and whispers something in his ear.

"Well slow poke are you finally ready to go?"

My mom asks with sweetness laced in her voice. I smile at her and nod my head; I probably look like one of those goofy bobble-head dolls that people have on the dashboard of their cars, but I don't care, I'm excited.

* * *

I still think it is weird that we have to meet at the high school to ride buses to the college we are having our cheer camp at, I mean the college is in the same town, it's not like we are traveling out of town for cheer camp. I was talking to Quinn about this and she said it is because the coach wants us to start bonding on the ride over to the college, to get to know each other from the start. Really though I know a lot of the team already, of the fifteen selected only three came from the other school, two girls and one boy.

Quinn also said that the National Cheerleading Coach wanted to start the indoctrination process early. I really am not sure what this means, I already had my physical so I am not sure why I have to see another doctor, and isn't it weird to see a doctor on a bus ride. This does not make sense to me, but Quinn said this is when this crazy coach begins hand selecting her cheerleaders for the high school team. Apparently she likes to start grooming and training the cheerleaders early so by the time they get to her they are ready and willing to do anything she asks of them. This sounds dangerous to me.

As we drive to the high school I can't help but chat my mom's ear off. I've never been so excited to go to camp. Dance camp was always amazing but this cheer camp was a new experience and a new opportunity to make friends and learn a new skill. I've always been better at learning skills then books. I like school and I pay attention and everything but it's just not as easy for me as dancing or cheering. When I dance I become lost in my own world. I can close everyone else out and just focus on the rhythm and beat of the music. I love to dance. Cheerleading involves dancing to a degree so I'm excited for the opportunity to dance and cheer.

As we pull up to the high school I can't help but bounce in my seat like an excited Chihuahua. I look out my window and see groups of cheerleaders everywhere, I wonder why they are standing apart; we're going to be together for a whole week, why not get to know each other right away. I notice Quinn as I look at the all of the groups; she has a group of cheerleaders forming around her, looks like she is already working on her bid for team captain. I know Quinn wants to be captain, she told me right after tryouts, she said she will do whatever it takes to secure the title of head cheerleader or team captain, whatever they call it. I don't really care about such things, I just want to make friends, have fun, and dance.

My mom stops the car at the curb, a few feet in front of the buses, I suppose she knows my bag is super heavy and doesn't want me to have to walk very far with it. I get out of the car and meet my mom at the trunk; she removes my cheer bag from the trunk, with considerable effort. She places my bag on the ground and gives me a big hug before telling me that she loves me and will miss me. When she lets go of me she reminds me to text her when we get to the university and every night before I go to bed. She is really sweet. My mom is the kindest person I've ever met. She loves me so much and I appreciate and love her more than I could ever express in words. She is just so amazing.

* * *

As I walk towards the groups of cheerleaders I assume that perhaps they were grouped together because they were told to do so, so I walk towards Quinn and join her group. I stand next to Quinn, she is the person I know the best out of everyone standing in the group, and casually join into the group's conversation. I look over my shoulder to the small group of three individuals behind me. They must be the three members of the sixth grade team from the other elementary school. They all look pretty young so they cannot be members for the high school or middle school teams and none of them look familiar. At first glance they all just look like normal students, but when I first see the face of the girl standing towards the back of the group I am left speechless.

She is definitely shorter than me, with long dark brunette almost black hair. She is by far the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I stare at her until she looks up and notices me; I turn my gaze back to the group, I don't want her to think I'm talking about her or that I'm starring at her for some judgmental reason. I definitely want to get to know this girl, I want to talk to her and find out more about her. Maybe I can sit by her on the bus; a twenty minute bus ride will be the perfect opportunity to get to know someone. It is just long enough to have a great introductory conversation and not too long in case things are awkward or uncomfortable.

I can't help but jump when I hear the scary lady's amplified voice screech at all of the cheerleaders. I can barely understand a word she is saying because it is just so loud. I don't like when people's voices get so loud, I like when things feel calm and peaceful. If someone is this loud, things certainly can't be calm and I'm not comfortable. She tells all of us to load onto the buses, the older cheerleaders are told to ride in this big fancy bus and the sixth grade squad gets to ride in this old school bus. I'm really excited about riding on this old school bus, a bus this old means that the ride will be really bumpy and I love bouncing in my seat. Plus, this is one of those things you can talk about with people forever, seriously how many people have stories like this to tell.

Quinn leads our group over to the last bus, the really pretty girl that I don't recognize is already standing in line at the bus. She is not talking to anyone; she is just standing there waiting patiently to load the bus. I wonder if she is as excited as I am for this bus ride. I really hope that I can sit next to her so I can get to know her. I wonder, could she be Santana Lopez, could she be my roommate? I'm one of the last people to get into line at the bus; my bag is so heavy, it slows me down. Quinn is standing a few people in front of me; she is talking to her roommate for the week Stephanie. I hope they can get along this week, they always fight at school.

The crazy lady in the red track suit saves the best for last! She comes over to our bus and begins ushering cheerleaders on to the bus. When she starts loading the bus she spends extra time talking to the pretty girl, I wonder if she is going to have a conversation with each of us; I really hope she doesn't I don't feel confident about talking to her. When I step in front of the crazy lady she asks for my permission slip. I hand her the three copies I have on me, just in case one is missing something or the signature is not readable or something. She gives me this sideways glance when she notices that I had written my name in crayon on one of the three permission slips. Some people like pretty colors and for things to not be serious all of the time, I think the crazy lady is not one of these people.

I step onto the bus and scan the faces starring at me. I'm the third to last person to load the bus but there are still a lot of seats left open. This is a giant bus for only fifteen people to ride on, I guess there will probably also be an adult on the bus with us, they wouldn't let a bunch of kids ride a bus alone, would they? As my eyes travel the length of the bus I notice that the pretty girl is sitting at the back of the bus all alone. I can feel my grin grow as I realize that I will most likely get the opportunity to sit next to her. I fix my eyes to the place I want to sit; my smile grows with each step I take, excitement building as I get closer to where she is sitting.

I think to myself that maybe staring at that spot so intently is not the best of ideas and then my eyes meet the eyes of the pretty girl. She has these big beautiful brown eyes. They are warm and inviting. I feel soothed and safe by her gaze. I can't help but let a goofy smile spread across my face at my thoughts. It is silly that another person's eyes, a person you have never met, can make you feel all these things. When I notice her return my goofy smile with a similar goofy smile of her own, I know sitting next to her would be a really great idea. With encouraged enthusiasm I walk towards where she is sitting and then the girl a few feet in front of me sits down right next to her. I don't who the girl is that sits next to the pretty girl. These two girls must be from the other elementary school, which means one of them has to be Santana Lopez; I like saying her whole name it is so pretty. I really hope the pretty girl is Santana; I want to get to know her. Since the seat I want is now taken I sit next to Quinn since she is waving me over.

* * *

Quinn is quick to tell me all about the adventures she has been having this summer. It must be nice to have parents that are all about spending their money in crazy ways. My parents would take me and my baby sister on summer vacation but it seems like Quinn's summer is about going from one vacation to the next. It is not even a month into our summer vacation and Quinn has already gone to Hawaii and Disneyland and she is going to Florida when she gets home from cheer camp. I have been to Disneyland before; it is like the best place in the world it is so magical! My parents told me when my baby sister gets a little older we can all go to Florida and visit Disneyworld. I cannot wait, I mean Disneyland is just a "land" and it is amazing, I can't imagine how incredible Disneyworld is going to be, I mean it's a "world." Suddenly I realize that Quinn is still talking and I had stopped listening like forever ago.

I really am not interested in what Quinn has to say. She is just bragging about all of the fun things she has done this summer and I just don't care, but I'll be nice and listen. I wonder what the pretty girl is doing, I bet she has fun conversations, I bet she says really interesting and funny things. I turn in my seat in order to look at her; I just want to know what she is doing. She is looking out the window watching the buildings rush past and listening to music. I love music! Whenever I need motivation, rather to pick me up or help me study or get me pumped up, I listen to music. Typically though once the music starts all I want to do is dance. Dancing is amazing, it's freeing! I become lost in my thoughts until my staring eyes lock with dark brown eyes. Once again the pretty girl catches me staring at her, great now she's going to think that I'm some kind of creepy stalker or something. The truth is that I could look into those big brown eyes for hours; I know those eyes hide someone special. I wonder what she is hiding, why does she have a shield up; what does she have to fear? My thoughts are interrupted by Quinn tapping my leg; I bounce in my sit and turn away. I give the pretty girl a quick smile as I turn around, it may have been too quick or I may have moved too fast because I am not sure she saw the smile. The conversations on the bus have gotten louder so I have to lean in to hear Quinn. I'm so tired of hearing about how amazing her summer has been and will be.

Quinn finally stops talking as the bus slows to a stop in front of what I assume to be the dorm we'll be staying in for the week. This really nice lady, I think she is someone's mom, stands up at the front of the bus and tells us to stay in our seats and wait for Sue to give us further instructions. I wonder who Sue is, there is a giant dinosaur fossil named Sue. I saw her once in a museum, but I highly doubt that's the Sue this lady is talking about, that would be weird. It would be cool though I really like dinosaurs.

The crazy lady in the red track suit steps onto the bus, oh no, is she Sue? She is as scary as a T-Rex, and that dinosaur fossil named Sue is a T-Rex. I wonder if the name Sue means scary? She tells us that we're to call her Coach Sylvester, wait is she Sue? I'll have to ask Quinn later when the lady, I mean Coach Sylvester, has finished speaking. Coach Sylvester told us that we have thirty minutes to unload the bus, unpack, and change clothes for conditioning. She said we need to be on the practice field before that thirty minutes is up. I'm really fast at unpacking and changing so I'm not too worried about the thirty minute time limit so long as I don't get lost. I have a tendency to get lost a lot but that is more because I like the adventure of finding where things are rather than looking them up on a map or something. I mean when you look stuff up on a map you know exactly where to go and you never have the opportunity to find all those forgotten about places that are no longer on the map. I wonder what Coach Sylvester considers conditioning; either way I'm sure I can handle it.

I work out all the time with my dance schedule. Dancing is physically demanding and can be very exhausting, especially if you don't keep yourself in good shape. I run every morning and evening and do other aerobic exercises. I go to the gym with my mom, she tries to stay in shape; I think it has something to do with her history in cheerleading. Also I get in some weight training with my dad; he has a bench and free weights in the garage. It's his way to alleviate stress and relax. We use to do weekly family bike rides but we haven't done that in a while. Maybe we will start doing it again when my baby sister gets a little older.

* * *

Finally here! Cheer camp was about to begin, excitement rushed through me as I bounce in my seat. Quinn looks at me like I am crazy, but I don't care I am really excited. I reach into the back pocket of my jeans and take my cell phone out. I send a text to my dad and mom telling them that I've arrived at cheer camp. Then I call the house, I want to make sure that they know I am safe and sound. While I'm on the phone with my mom Quinn squirms around me and gets off the bus. I watch the pretty girl exit the bus as well. She walks like a girl on a mission; she appears determined and motivated; I like that. I finish talking to my mom and exit the bus. I grab my cheer bag and half carry it half drag it into the dorm.

There are cheerleaders heading in every direction when I enter into the lobby area of the dorm. I place my bag down and bring my back pack forward so I can get my paperwork out. I can't remember what dorm room I'm in, the only thing I remember is my roommate's name, Santana Lopez. I open my folder and my dorm room assignment sheet is not there. I frantically search my back pack and the sheet of paper is nowhere to be found. I must've accidentally given it to Coach Sylvester when I handed her my permission slips, maybe that is why she gave me that weird look. I have no idea where to go. I sit down on top of my cheer bag, I'm sure a parent or coach or someone will come through the lobby and help me out. Someone must have a master list of all the room assignments.

I have been sitting here at least ten minutes and not a single adult has come through the building. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I really don't want to be late to conditioning, or even worse miss it; I would probably be kicked off the team! I can't help but start to worry about things; maybe I should just start wandering the floors and pick a room until I have time to figure it out. I feel someone watching me so I look up and see the pretty girl looking at me. She stares into my eyes, it is like she is trying to figure out what I'm doing there, she probably thinks I'm really dumb for just sitting here.

I want to say something but I have no idea what to say. I already look stupid for sitting in the middle of the lobby not doing anything. To my surprise the pretty girl asks if I'm okay. At first I am a little confused by her question, do I not look okay, is she offering to help me. I could really use some help and she should know my roommate which means maybe she'll know what room I'm in. I simply shake my head no to let her know that I heard her question and that I'm not okay. She looks at me so sweetly and looks genuinely concerned when she asks if I was lost and if I needed help finding my room. I can't believe how nice this girl is, here she is ready to go to the practice field and she is willing to stop and help me, she is amazing! My excitement can't be contained when I nod my head yes, I'm pretty sure I am once again resembling a dashboard bobble head. She wants to see my dorm room assignment but I told her I had lost it, I mean I didn't really lose it, I'm pretty sure I just accidentally gave it to Coach Sylvester but I don't need to waste her time telling her all that. I feel embarrassed to tell her that I lost it; I really don't want her to think that I am stupid. A lot of people think I'm stupid but I'm not!

"Well, what's your name? We could ask the others if they are rooming with you, or do you remember who you are rooming with?"

She really did want to help me. She is actually interested in who I am and who I'm rooming with. I wonder if she hopes I'm her roommate just like how I hope she is my roommate. I guess that is a silly hope, I mean she probably already met her roommate and everything since I'm the last one here. But I could be wrong she could be Santana Lopez!

"My name is Brittany, I'm supposed to room with Santana Lopez, do you know her?"

My anticipation builds as I wait for her to respond, I want her to be Santana Lopez so badly. The pretty girl smiles widely and nods to answer my question. I'm not sure how to read this response. I mean she seems happy about my roommate being Santana or maybe she is just happy to know her, I'm really not sure.

"Actually, that's me. Here let me help you with your bag and I'll show you where our room is."

I can't help but smile when she tells me that she's Santana Lopez. It's like all my prayers have been answered in that single response. I've been worried forever that my roommate would hate me and mug me or beat me up, but this girl is not like that at all. She is really sweet. She reaches down and helps me stand up. Once I'm standing, Santana reaches for my bag to carry it for me. It is really nice of her to carry it for me but I feel so bad because my bag is very heavy, my dad said it weighed a ton! She leads me over to the elevator, she had previously come down the stairs but I think she realizes that my bag is too heavy to carry up all those stairs.

When the elevator door opens Santana let's me get in first, such a gentleman no wait gentlewoman. Santana presses the button for the third floor, I'm so glad she found me and offered to help me; I can't help but smile at her in appreciation of all she is doing for me. The elevator dings as it lurches to a stop on the third floor. The doors slide open and Santana motions for me to exit the elevator first, she really is the nicest person I've ever met. I'm so happy about how nice Santana is and about no longer being lost that I can't help but skip out of the elevator. As I walk down the hallway I realize that I have no idea where I am going so I turn around to see if Santana is directing me at all. When I turn around I see that she is really struggling with my bag. She tries to hide her struggles from me but I know how heavy my bag is so she really can't hide her struggles from me. I never want her to feel like she has to hide her struggles from me. I may have met her only minutes ago but I already know that I want to be there for her whenever she struggles. I reach out and take a hold of part of the handle of the bag so we can carry the bag together. Struggles are not nearly as bad when someone else is there to support you.

I continue walking down the hall with my back to Santana, grinning ear to ear. I'm so lucky to have her as my roommate! All of a sudden I have the full weight of my bag in my hand and my bag goes crashing to the floor I wasn't expecting Santana to let go. I turn around giggling, feeling very embarrassed, to see why Santana had let go. I see that she has stopped walking and is just standing, kind of shocked looking, in front of a door.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stop so suddenly but this is our room."

It looks like she might be blushing a little bit; she shouldn't be embarrassed I should've walked next to her or behind her not in front of her when I didn't know where we were going. I smile at Santana hoping that it will ease her embarrassment. It must've worked because she turned around and opened our dorm room. Again she motions for me to enter first; I think it is really precious how she always wants me to enter the room before her.

I drag my bag into the room and dump it on the first bed I reach; I really didn't have the strength to pull my bag any further, even if it is only a few more feet to the second bed. I hear Santana laugh, I really hope I didn't just dump my stuff all over her bed, I hadn't even thought about asking her which bed she had claimed before dumping my bag out. I should've asked, she was here first she should get first priority in choosing a bed.

When I see Santana sit down on the other bed, I figure I got lucky and had chosen the right bed. I wonder if she likes to sleep by windows or if she hates sleeping by doors. I don't mind either as long as the closet door is always shut when I go to bed. I can't sleep with a closet door open, it's creepy. I start running around the room like a rabid dog placing items in the dresser drawers and then hanging a few items in the closet. When I hang up my cheerleading uniform I see Santana's uniforms at the opposite end of the closet hanging. This means that I was smart to pack my uniform. With all my stuff put away, which I did surprisingly fast, I grab some random workout clothes to put on. Santana is waiting for me and I don't want to make her late for conditioning. It is one thing if I make myself late, I will not do it to Santana. She stares out the window as I change. Maybe I should've gone to the bathroom or given her the chance to leave the room before I stripped my clothes off to put on my workout clothes, I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable.

Once I have changed my clothes I look over to Santana and realize that she is still staring intently out the window. I think she is somewhere else in her mind in that moment. I don't want to interrupt her thoughts but I also don't want her to be late. I walk up behind her and gently tap her on the shoulder. Santana jumps a little with my touch. When she turns around she looks me up and down, she is probably surprised to see such bright colors. I love wearing bright workout clothes it just makes working out more entertaining. I smile at Santana and ask if she is ready to go. She nods her head while looking at her watch. I hope I didn't take too long; I really tried to hurry so we can get to the practice field on time. When she looks up from her watch she has a smile on her face which I take to mean that we still have plenty of time to make It to the practice field.

* * *

It's a quick walk to the practice field. Santana walks like she owns this university. I wonder if she has a sibling that attends this school or something because she seems to know where everything is; I'm so glad I have her to help me out. When we step onto the practice field I see that a lot of the older cheerleaders are already there, I wonder how long they have been here. The older cheerleaders are standing around talking to each other and laughing. I hope they are not planning on pulling any pranks on us younger, newbie cheerleaders.

"Hey Britt, do you wanna stretch out before conditioning?"

"Uh, yeah. You should never workout before stretching!"

I love that she calls me Britt! It's a really good idea to stretch before Coach Sylvester has us doing conditioning. She may have us stretch as a whole squad as well but I rather stretch twice and workout, then have to workout without stretching at all. Santana and I begin stretching. I bend at the waist grabbing my toes and rest my head on my knees. I turn and see that Santana is sitting down. I sit down across from her and place the bottom of my feet up against the bottom of her feet. She has super small feet compared to me. I reach out and grasp Santana's hands; her hands are small and very soft. I pull her body towards me allowing her muscles to stretch, this is my favorite stretch. I ease up my pull allowing Santana's body to return to a sitting position; she then pulls me towards her. I smile as I feel my muscles stretch with her gentle pulling.

I stop stretching and jump to my feet when I hear the overpowering sound of Coach Sylvester. I look around me and see that Coach Sylvester is perched on this platform thing high above the field. She looks like some kind of ruler watching over her followers. When I look at the high school cheerleaders I see that this impression is probably pretty accurate; they will follow her anywhere.

"Sorry sack of rejects! When I say thirty minutes you should know I mean twenty-five minutes. You have wasted five minutes of my precious time by being late. Everyone will pay for your tardiness. Get on that track, all of you, and run until I tell you to stop!"

As I listen to Coach Sylvester yell at the arriving cheerleaders a cold shiver of shock creeps through my body. If it had not been for Santana I would've been part of the group just arriving, actually I probably would've been late. Santana sees my worry and shrugs at me and reassures me that we were early according to Coach Sylvester's crazy concept of time and that we're not to blame for her mood. Of course she is right, I think that probably happens a lot, Santana being right. I am grateful to have her watching out for me. I mentally promise to myself to return this sense of protection to Santana. I link my pinkie with Santana's to solidify this promise, there is nothing better than pinkie promises, and pull her towards the track.

Running, especially for a long period of time can become really boring. Santana is not talking as we run around the track; I guess she is really focused on running and continuing to be perfect. I let my imagination take over my mind as I run the track. I imagine that Santana and I are running the Boston Marathon; it certainly feels like we are running a marathon. I picture Santana and I running the cobblestone streets in Boston and listening to the crowds cheer us on. We are really young to be running in this marathon but we are keeping pace with the much older runners. We might even win this race. My daydream is interrupted by the sound of Coach Sylvester's bull horn; I really don't like that thing.

My legs did not want to stop running; they are in game mode and just kept moving. I notice that Santana slows down her pace which is a smart idea because that will help my legs stop moving, eventually. We continue to jog around the track, I wonder how long this will go, I can't really picture us in the Boston Marathon anymore because we are jogging rather than running. I decide that the best place for a jog is the beach. My imagination places Santana and I on the white sandy beaches of a tropical island. The waves rush onto our feet as we jog along the shore. Dolphins jump out of the water following us as we jog down the sandy shore. Just as I start to smell the sea Coach Sylvester's bull horn sounds again; my beach setting quickly fades from my mind. Santana and I leave the track and jog in the direction of Coach Sylvester. I feel like whenever you finish running you should sprint the last bit, there is nothing better than a race. I look to Santana and take off sprinting. I know she is a competitive person so I keep my stride in pace with her. We reach Coach Sylvester's platform at the same time.

"A tie" she is incredible, I can't believe that after all that running she was actually willing to race with me.

"I like your enthusiasm, keep up that spunk legs!"

I'm not sure why Coach Sylvester called me legs, I mean everyone has legs and I guess mine are longer than most but it still doesn't make sense to me. I do have spunk though; life is always easier to go through with a smile on your face and a good attitude then with a frown and a bad attitude.

"I want everyone that stopped running before the sound of the horn to step over here to my left. All of you that just stopped, at the appropriate time, step over here to my right."

Santana slips her pinkie around mine and drags me to the right side of the platform. I am thankful that she knew which way to go, I always have to hold up my hands and see which thumb and index finger make a "L" in order to remember my left from my right. It's a silly way to remember but it always works. When I feel her pinkie tighten around mine I smile at her, today feels like one pinkie promise after another. Our friendship is being created by and growing through continued pinkie promises, at least it is for me.

"Congratulations to those of you who have earned the chance to stand on the right side of God, the rest of you are a disgrace to cheerleading! I suggest that when we return, after lunch, you plan on actually participating fully in this camp or you can pack your gear and leave. If you're not going to put in your best effort here there is no need for you to remain a cheerleader."

God? Is Coach Sylvester like a Greek God or something? I remember learning a bit about Greek mythology and Greek Gods last year but I do not recall anything about there being a Goddess of cheerleading. Although, there are Greek Goddesses of food, wine, love, war, and sports. Cheerleading is a sport, so maybe she is some type of Greek Goddess. I glance over at Santana, I'm so confused, but the look Santana is returning to me reassures me that she will explain everything later. It's a good thing that Santana is willing to help me out; she is such a great person.

"You have two hours for lunch and to rest up, if you are so weak that you need rest, before I expect you back on this field!"

Coach Sylvester remains on her perch watching as cheerleaders begin to leave the practice field. A lot of the younger cheerleaders walk off the field with their heads hanging low; I hope they do not let this get to them too much. Coach Sylvester is just trying to get into their heads, they just need to keep trying and putting forth their best effort. Your best is all someone can ever ask of you. Plus, Coach Sylvester isn't even going to be their cheer coach this season! I stare down at my feet, I guess I should go to lunch but I don't want to go without Santana, but I don't know if she still wants to hang out with me.

"Hey Britt, I need to stretch out and cool down a bit more, do you wanna join me and then we can go get lunch?"

I'm excited that Santana wants me to hang out with her. I'm willing to skip lunch and only do stretches with her if she asked. Spending time with Santana is better than any meal I can imagine eating. Of course I am really thirsty so I hope we leave enough time to at least get something to drink. Santana and I jog over to the track and then jog the track. As we complete our laps around the track, I imagine us jogging the white sandy beaches of that secluded island once again. I can hear the waves washing ashore and feel the cool sea breeze. I think it is easy to imagine these things because being with Santana makes everything so easy. After a few laps Santana ushers us from the track to a grassy field where we stretch out. My body feels relaxed and rejuvenated after our cool down run and stretching. I may run a lot but my legs certainly were not prepared for such a long run today.

I am sitting on the grass with my legs stretched out in front of me grabbing my toes when I see Santana's hand reach down for me. I take her hand and allow her to pull me to my feet. As soon as I am fully standing I switch from holding Santana's hand to linking my pinkie with hers. We turn to walk off the field so we can get some lunch when I hear that dreadful bull horn beckoning Santana and I. More than anything I want to ignore Coach Sylvester's summoning but I know that will only have negative results. Santana and I turn around and walk towards Coach Sylvester's godly perch. To my surprise Coach Sylvester descends from her throne to speak with us.

"What are your names?"

Why on earth does she want to know my name? I hope us staying behind and completing a cool down jog and stretch is not against the rules. I really don't want to get Santana in trouble. If it is against the rules I will just tell Coach Sylvester that it was all my idea and that I made Santana stay with me. I know the whole thing was actually her idea but I would rather take the blame, plus I owe her huge for saving me this morning. I hear Santana tell Coach Sylvester her name so I quickly follow suit. I don't want to upset her even more.

"Keep up what you are doing and you may find yourselves privileged enough to be a Cheerio one day."

Coach Sylvester may not have yelled at us but I am still terrified from the encounter. As soon as Coach Sylvester starts to walk away from us all I want to do is run away. I tug on Santana's pinkie and pull her in the opposite direction of Coach Sylvester. I have no idea where I am going I just have to get some distance between Coach Sylvester and I. Moments later Santana and I step into the parking lot.

"Hey Britt, where are we going?"

"Apparently the parking lot. Where do you think we need to go for lunch?"

Santana has the world's most precious laugh. The sound of her laugh resonating in the breeze warms my heart. I set a new goal for myself, which is to make Santana laugh all the time. I am fairly talented at making humorous comments; now I have a forum to make those comments in. Santana turns our direction and leads us towards the campus dining hall. As we walk I peer over to Santana it looks like she is making plans and calculating things. My dad makes a similar expression when he is helping my mom with the monthly budget. It's adorable how much Santana plans, I mean we are only in the sixth grade, or going to be, and she processes things like an adult.

When we step into the dining hall the sound of loud chatter instantly fills my ears. Everyone is talking so loudly, I assume it is because they're trying to be heard over the other people who are talking loudly. Sometimes I wonder if people realize that if they all spoke quietly then there would be no need for everyone to yell at each other. I observe Santana make a small salad, so I do the same, I'm sure Santana thought about what to eat so she must be right that a salad is the smart choice. She then grabs a Gatorade and a bottle of water, which is definitely a good idea, I feel like I have just walked through the Sahara desert without a drop of water.

It always interests me how people divide up and opt to sit with certain people and not with others in the lunch room. You can tell a lot about a person by the person they choose to sit with at lunch. These are the people they are choosing to associate with not people they are forced to associate with. I am proud of my choice, I like sitting with Santana, there is no one else here that I would rather sit with. I thought more of the squads would be sitting together but they're not. In fact the only squad that is sitting together is the varsity squad, I wonder if they're forced to do so or if they're just closer with each other than the rest of the squads.

Santana and I finish our salads at the same time and get up to leave the dining hall. There is no need to stay here any longer than necessary. It is too loud to have a nice conversation and the smell of all the foods mixing together was making me sick. As we walk towards the exit Santana stops and grabs another bottle of water and another Gatorade, since I'm so thirsty after our first workout I figured Santana had a good idea about taking something to drink with us to our next workout. I grab the same thing as Santana, water is water but she just happens to choose the flavor of Gatorade that I love. Fruit punch Gatorade is by far the best flavor. When we step out of the dining hall Santana links her pinkie with mine and walks away from the dining hall but not in the direction of the dorms or the practice field. I have no idea where we are going but I don't care I would follow Santana anywhere. I mean she did follow me when I randomly led her to a parking lot. If she can trust me so freely I can do the same.

Santana is truly amazing. She has taken me to this really quiet and tranquil place. After the loud ringing of Coach Sylvester's bull horn and the loud conversations of the dining hall, this place is exactly what I need. Somewhere quiet where I could just relax until I have to return to the commotion of cheer camp. I watch as Santana lies down on the grass and I follow suit. I look over to her, with pure adoration feeling my heart, and then up at the clouds. Finding shapes, objects, and animals, especially animals, in the clouds is one of my favorite things to do.

"Look that one looks like a duck."

I watch Santana as she tries to find the cloud that I said looked like a duck. She tries so hard to find the cloud, she adjusts the way she is laying and changes the way she looks at the clouds but can't find my duck cloud. I want her to see my duck cloud, everyone should be taught how to find animals in the clouds and this is my opportunity to teach this talent to someone who I believe is truly magical. I grab hold of Santana's hand and trace the outline of the cloud that looks like a duck.

"Here look, do you see it now?"

Santana nods her head when she sees the duck shaped cloud. She laughs a little, I feel like I have accomplished something when I hear that laugh. She is not laughing at me, she is not judging me, and she doesn't think I'm being weird, she just enjoys the moment. She takes the opportunity to free her mind and allow her imagination to be in control. I can tell that Santana is a very controlled individual that she lives her life according to structure and schedules, I mean I did see how she set an alarm on her watch, but in this moment she has let go of all the rules.

* * *

I can't believe cheer camp is almost over. This week has been a lot of work but I have learned a lot about cheerleading and some great new workouts. Plus I meet Santana and no matter what else happened during the week or what will happen the rest of the night and tomorrow morning this week will always be a great memory because of Santana. She is the highlight of my week. I just hope she will want to be my friend when camp officially ends tomorrow and when school starts in September. I really just want to be with Santana for the rest of the night, just the two of us watching movies and hanging out.

Unfortunately, Coach Sylvester has this huge dinner and speech thing planned for all of us tonight and we are required to go. I would risk skipping it if it wasn't for Santana. I know that she really wants to be the sixth grade head cheerleader and captain and this can only happen if she is at the dinner. I guess so long as Santana is there it won't be all that bad, it'll just be another loud event. I have to get use to things being loud; I mean cheerleading is all about being loud; maybe I can wear ear plugs.

As soon as Santana opens the door to our dorm room I move over to my bed and lay down. Santana falls down right next to me but she does not linger. She stands up and moves over to her dresser picking out a really pretty clean outfit. I can't help but watch her, everything she does is just so thought out. She makes sure that all of her items match and look good together; a lot of times when I get dressed I just pull out random items and put them on. Even though my outfit selection process is odd it works for me, people commonly compliment me on my style. The more I watch Santana the more I want to help her relax tonight and escape the tedious schedule she probably has in her mind.

"Hey S, I have a question for ya."

"What's up Britt?"

"Do you want to have a movie night with me?"

Calling tonight a movie night is probably not the right term. Santana and I watched movies all the time. I am amazed by the collection of DVDs she brought with her to cheer camp, but that is Santana always being over prepared for everything. This is definitely not something we had in common. When packing for cheer camp I randomly threw panties into my cheer bag, thankfully I had enough, Santana on the other hand had made a list of items to pack with a number written next to it to indicate how many to pack. She also made a copy of that list and brought it with her so she could mark the items off when she repacked them. I had watched her pack some of her things this morning before our morning conditioning.

"What I mean, is like, do you wanna push our beds together and like build a fort and watch a movie tonight, since it is our last night here and I don't know when I will be able to see you again before school starts."

Santana looks at me with this goofy smile plastered across her face. I love how she accommodates my child like behaviors.

"That sounds like a perfect way to spend our last night."

Her response makes me so giddy. I can't help but bounce up on my knees and clap my hands. The enthusiasm in her response has reinvigorated me, now I feel like I have the energy to get through Coach Sylvester's dinner because at least I have this to look forward to when it ends. I leap from my bed and run over to Santana and give her a big bear hug. I love when my dad gives me a bear hug so I thought maybe Santana would like one as well. The smile on her face tells me that she did enjoy the hug. I let go of her and quickly change my clothes, I know that Santana likes to be pretty early for events, I never want to be the reason she is late.

It is not surprising to see that Santana and I are the first members of the sixth grade squad to enter the dining hall. We have been the first members of the sixth grade squad at every event this week, sometimes we were the first ones there even before the high school squads. Santana leads us over to our table; this dinner is a lot more formal then what I was expecting. Coach Sylvester has divided our squad into different groups. I really hope this doesn't turn into another right hand of God lecture that was weird and uncomfortable. Quinn was pretty upset with me for a while because of that whole ordeal. Things have changed since then though; Quinn has improved with the workouts and puts forth a ton of spirit during the actual cheering clinics.

I'm glad Quinn is no longer mad with me because we're sitting at the same table and she is sitting next to me, of course I have Santana sitting on the other side of me. Quinn is sitting on my left side and Santana is sitting on my right side. While we eat I keep bumping elbows with Santana, a lot of times I do it on purpose. Santana is left handed and I am right handed so having her sit to my right side makes dinner a lot more interesting. We finish our meals and just sit there, I'm so bored I just want to go back to the room and build a fort with Santana. While I want to leave I know the most important part of the evening has yet to happen so I will sit patiently and wait, for Santana.

"Alright, listen up you worthless sack of maggots. Everyone sitting at an 'A' table, nice work this week you're on your way to be good enough to make it as a Cheerio. For those of you sitting at a 'B' table you should just quit cheerleading, you're an utter disgrace to the sport. If you opt to continue this futile endeavor I recommend you look to your counterparts at the 'A' tables and learn what hard work actually looks like. Do not come back to my camp next year in such disgracing style!"

I can't help but wonder if this same process happens every year. If it does why are there so many people at 'B' tables that have been here prior years? Do they not care what Coach Sylvester thinks about them? Or does Coach Sylvester change her standards every year to make sure there is always someone one at the 'B' table? Is an 'A' table cheerleader evaluated against on how all the other cheerleaders on the team perform? I'm truly confused by these belittling remarks made by Coach Sylvester and why someone would come back after being the target of such remarks. I guess popularity and cheerleading means more to some people than their self-esteem.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I feel Santana's leg nervously bouncing next to me. I place my hand on her leg and squeeze it gently to try and calm her down. I don't realize why she is so nervous until I hear Coach Sylvester finish announcing the head cheerleader and captain for the seventh grade squad and turn her attention to our table.

"Now the sixth grade team is a little tricky. I have seen a lot from this team and I know that some of you will become Cheerios and will win a national title. I believe that some of you are willing to do whatever it takes to be number one and I like that quality in my Cheerios; it is a quality that I myself possess. That being said I am making a unique decision for this squad. This year the sixth grade team will have a head cheerleader and three captains. I want to explain this to you a bit. All three captains will assist with creating routines and judging tryouts for next year's squad. However, the head cheerleader will have the final say in any split voting. The three captains are Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, and Brittany Pierce, quite the trinity I must say."

My first feeling is to be excited for Santana, she wanted this so badly. My second feeling is complete shock; I was not expecting this for myself. I mean I worked really hard this week but I didn't think it would lead to me becoming a captain. This is pretty cool, plus I get to be a captain with Santana which makes this even better.

"I also want each of you to be responsible for unique aspects of the team. Santana your work ethic is insane; you're in charge of scheduling, work outs, conditioning, etc. Brittany you have moves that would make J. Lo stumble, you're in charge of creating routines and song selection. Quinn you have inspired spirit; you're in charge of creating cheers and yells."

Besides meeting Santana, this is the best news I have received all week. It is one thing to be made captain but to actually be in charge of creating the dance routines for the squad and being allowed to choose the songs is like a dream come true. I tried out for cheerleading for the opportunity to dance and now I am in charge of all the dance moves for my squad. I can't wait to text my mom; she is going to be proud. The excitement I have for myself quickly fades when Santana takes hold of my hand that is resting on her thigh. She squeezes my hand tightly, really tightly, if I wasn't so nervous for her it probably would really hurt. She loosens her grip on my hand; I don't want her to feel like I don't support her so I squeeze her thigh even tighter. I want her to get head cheerleader so bad, she has worked harder than anyone else this week. Sure I have been right there with her but I would've been late and lost numerous times if it had not been for her help.

"The head cheerleader for the sixth grade squad is Quinn Fabray. That's it people, get to bed, buses leave at nine am sharp, if you're late you will be left behind!"

I watch as Santana's face falls, her disappoint is so visible but only for a second. It amazes me how quickly she composes herself; I know she is devastated by not being named head cheerleader. I feel so bad, I just want to wrap my arms around her and give her a hug, she deserved head cheerleader more than anyone else. I still cannot understand how Quinn beat her. Santana did not allow her frustrations or disappointment to control her instead she leans over me and congratulates Quinn on being named head cheerleader and tells her that we will have her back. She informs Quinn that together we will create the best squad the state has ever seen. I want Santana to know I support her, so even though I think she should have won head cheerleader, I agree along with her and nod my head to everything she says. We move from congratulating Quinn to congratulating every other cheerleader who won the title of captain and head cheerleader. The sixth grade squad is the only squad to be assigned multiple captains. Santana and I leave the dining hall and walk back to our dorm more after congratulating everyone.

* * *

Santana opens the door to our dorm and steps in; her shoulders slump forward. I want to take away her disappointment and show her that she is still amazing even without the head cheerleader title. I wrap my arms around her while still standing behind her. I want her to know I am here for her no matter what.

"I'm so sorry S, I thought you had it for sure. You worked so hard, you deserved it."

"It's okay Britt, I'm pretty sure Quinn bought the position and I never want to earn something that way. We all work for things in different ways; Quinn just does it with her daddy's wallet, no biggie. I'm a captain and that's good enough, especially since I get to be a captain with you!"

It's adorable and heart breaking, at the same time, how Santana tries to hide her disappointment. I wish she didn't try to hide it, I know she is upset and deserves to be. I want to be able to comfort her but how can I do that when she tries to hide her disappointment.

I can't help but frown a little when Santana walks away from me and towards her bed. I really hope she is not planning on going to bed before building a fort and watching a movie. I know she is disappointed but we should still have our fort building movie night. Santana grabs the nightstand and starts to move it, I'm not sure why she would be moving the nightstand; maybe she dropped something behind it. After Santana has moved the nightstand from between our beds she moves over to her bed and starts to push it over towards mine all while looking at me smiling. She is working on building our fort! I jump up and down in excitement, she hadn't forgotten my idea; she is making sure my idea happens.

"I almost forgot S. I am so glad you remembered."

I don't want Santana to think that I had doubted her so I tried to play it off that I had forgotten about my awesome idea. She smiles at me and nods for me to come and help her. I start pushing her bed towards mine. This process is like how Santana and I came together. There was this obstacle between us, us going to going to different elementary schools; once that obstacle was removed we naturally came together. Once the beds are touching we use some extra blankets and build this high dome, like a tent, over top of the bed. I have amazing fort building skills. Santana lies down in the fort and places her DVD player in her lap, and I hand her the "Pacifier," it had just been released on DVD and I never had the chance to see it in theater. I snuggle up to Santana to watch the movie. While the previews are playing I see Santana get out her cell phone and send a text. I would text my mom to let her know my good news but it's already late and I don't want to risk waking her up. I wonder if Santana would send me text messages if I gave her my number. I look over at Santana and she has already fallen asleep; I really don't want to forget about asking her for her number though, so I give a little nudge just enough to wake her up if she isn't in a deep sleep.

"Hey S?"

"Yeah Britt?"

"Can I have your number so we can talk and maybe hang out this summer?"

Santana doesn't respond right away, of course I instantly panic that she has no desire to hang out with me after this week. My heart sinks a little as I watch Santana ponder the idea of giving me her number. Maybe I have asked too much of her, I did ask her to help me pack my bag this morning. Or maybe she just needs to be away from cheerleading after the disappointing blow she received tonight.

"Of course you can Britt, but only if I get yours as well."

All of my fears and worries immediately melt away when I hear Santana's response. I hand her my cell phone, thinking she will just add her name into my contacts but instead she sends herself a text message from my phone. It is a much more efficient idea than I had, but that is Santana, always efficient. When Santana's phone receives the text message she responds to it, this way I have her number in my received text message box and my sent text message box. I wonder if she did that because she knows I like to have back-up options. I always lose or forget things, Santana already knows me so well. With our numbers exchanged, Santana lies her head back down onto my shoulder and instantly falls back to sleep. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and the way the moonlight is bouncing off her face only accentuates her perfect features.

* * *

Santana and I are sitting next to the reflection pond on the university campus feeding ducks. Suddenly one of the ducks starts making this really loud sound. I can't tell what it is until I feel Santana nudging me from my sleep. I had been dreaming about feeding ducks. It is not a duck that started making the loud sound; it is Santana's cell phone alarm. I wipe the sleep from my eyes. I really don't want to get up; I was having such a great dream. I open my eyes and see that Santana is staring at me smiling. She really has the most beautiful smile!

I roll out of bed and help Santana start to put the room back together. I can't help but giggle as we scoot the beds back across the floor and put the nightstand back between them. Seriously, what would people think if they walked in and saw the room in this state of disarray, they would probably think we had some kind of dance party in here or something. I guess that would make sense though since I am in charge of choreography for my squad. Santana steps back and methodically examines the room; I'm pretty sure if she had a tape measure she would be using it to make sure everything is in its perfect place. As obsessed with perfection as Santana is I have no idea why she is friends with me, I am anything but perfect. With our room returned to its original glory, Santana and I grab our cheer bags and head down to breakfast. My bag is still very heavy but the way Santana packed it better distributed the weight so it is easier to carry.

While eating breakfast I notice that Santana suddenly becomes a little quiet. She looks sad or disappointed or something. I look at her with concern and try to read what happened. Everything was fine just moments ago but now she is withdrawn. After breakfast Santana and I walk to the bus and get on. This time we are able to sit together. Quinn is sitting with Samantha, apparently this week has brought them closer together, and the girl that sat next to Santana on the way to camp is sitting with Stephanie on the way home. It is amazing how everyone seemed to get a little closer on this trip. Santana is still being very quiet so I wrap my pinkie around her pinkie; I want her to know that every promise I made this week I meant and that I will continue to make and keep promises with and for her. I lay my head on her shoulder; I enjoyed cuddling with her so much last night that I just want to keep cuddling with her. We do not speak a word to each other the whole drive but I know she is just processing something and will talk when she is ready.

When the bus stops in front of the high school I can feel my heart sink. I don't want to say goodbye to Santana. She has become my best friend and I just want her to stay next to me forever. I look out the bus window and see my mom leaning up against her car talking on her cell phone. Her hands are waving around crazily, she can't speak without moving her arms; it's pretty funny. I don't know what to say to Santana when she looks over at me, sadness still strewn across her face.

"Hey S, you're my best friend and I'm going to miss you."

I opt to go with the truth and tell Santana what I am feeling in this moment. Santana smiles at my statement and I can see a light return in her eyes. Maybe she is just sad to leave me; maybe she wants to stay right next to me too.

"Me too, Britt. I'll text you though and maybe we can go back to school shopping or something. I'll talk to my mom about it."

"That sounds like a great idea S."

Santana gives me a big hug after we exit the bus and grab our cheer bags. I want to walk with her but my mom parked on the other end of the parking lot. I reluctantly turn in the opposite direction. I just want to hang out with Santana non-stop. I pull my cell phone from my pants pocket. _"Hey bestie, don't forget me! Miss you already, can't wait to go shopping! Let's get matching backpacks!"_

* * *

_**Hey readers! I did not have a BETA to review this chapter. If you would like to BETA this story message me. I do have one BETA already but she is super busy so I am looking to take on another BETA. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**_

_**Initially I posted only one story with both POV's. I have decided that it may be confusing for readers if I continue with it in such a way. There are now two stories:**_

_**My Love for Him Led Me to You – written from Santana's POV**_

_**Your Love for Him Led You to Me – written from Brittany's POV**_

_**These are the comments from the story when the two POV's were part of one story. (I don't want my readers to think that I do not value their reviews, because I do).**_


	2. Chapter 2: I Trust You

Chapter 2 – I Trust You September 2005

* * *

Summer vacation has gone by way too fast, but I'm excited for school to start. Being in middle school is going to be a whole new experience with new challenges and new friends to make. Of course I have Santana so I really do not need any more friends as long as I have her. But I like getting to know people and make friends. I think people are generally pretty fascinating. Everyone is so uniquely different. No one is as unique as Santana though. She is special; there is just something about her that draws me in. It is like she has some kind of force field around her; typically she uses her force field to push people away to prevent them from getting close to her, but with me I feel constantly pulled to her. The truth is I hate being away from her. We have been able to hang out a lot this summer but I still wish we had more time together. At least with school starting I will get to see her more.

I've been lazing around all day. Later my mom and I are picking up Santana and heading to the mall to do our back to school shopping. I was so excited about going shopping that I couldn't sleep in this morning. Usually I'm able to sleep in until at least eleven on Saturdays but today I think I was awake before the sun came up. Although I did roll over and force myself back to sleep. By nine I realized that I was awake and would not be able to get back to sleep. So I got out of bed and just kinda lazed around the house. I played with Lord Tubbington for a little bit. Santana bought him this cute little mouse toy a couple of weeks ago; so this morning I was throwing the toy and Lord T would go chasing after the mouse. Of course then I had to go chasing after Lord T to get the mouse back so I could throw it again. I guess what people say about cats and dogs is true.

"You live to please a cat whereas a dog lives to please you."

But I love Lord T regardless if he has me wrapped around his little paw or not. I would do pretty much anything for him; he is just so sweet to me. Eventually Lord T left me and went to nap; Lord T reminds me off Garfield, he likes to sleep and eat, a lot! I wonder if he'll be as big as Garfield when he grows up.

I'm lying across my bed bored out of my mind when I notice that it is already eleven. I leap from my bed and run into my bathroom. My mom wants to leave here by eleven forty five so that we will be on time to pick up Santana. It sees like no matter how early I get up I am always rushing in the end to get ready on time because I get distracted so easily. Santana is really helpful about that though. At cheer camp and whenever she stays over she always helps me stay focused and get things done. I wonder where she learned to be so focused, it's like she is always planning everything out in advance.

I shower as fast as I possibly can while still making sure to get clean. I finish my shower in about ten minutes, which is pretty fast for me, I love to just stand under the hot water and imagine that instead of being in the shower I am in a tropical rainforest standing underneath a waterfall. I love waterfalls. I blow dry my hair until it's mostly dry and then go to my closet to pick something to wear. I want something that will be easy to slip on and off because I know my mom will make me try on everything that I want to buy. She has this rule about trying on clothes; basically she refuses to buy it unless she has seen it on and sat in it to make sure it's comfortable. But since she is paying for all of my clothes I can't really complain. I pull a pink and yellow sundress from my closet and grab a pair of sandals to match. Both my dress and my shoes will be easy to slip on and off multiple times.

To my relief and my mother's utter astonishment I'm ready and waiting to go by eleven forty, I finished five minutes early that is a personal best for me.

"Excited to go shopping Britt-bee?"

"Yeah that and I don't want to be late to pick up Santana."

I know that timeliness matters a lot to Santana, so I never want to disappoint her by being late. Considering all of the things that people can expect from someone, being on time is not that difficult and I would pretty much do anything for Santana.

"Well let's get going then."

My mom and I head out the door waving goodbye to my dad and little sister as we go. I climb into the front passenger seat of my mom's car, bumping my head on the door frame as I get in. I really need to start getting into cars differently. My mind wonders as we drive to Santana's house. My mom has driven to Santana's house so many times this summer. I think we have picked her up at least twenty times but I have yet to see the inside of her house. I think my goal today will be to get to see her house somehow. I wonder if she'll want to stay the night tonight. We haven't had a sleepover all summer even though we have hung out a lot. It seems like her parents or abuela always need her for one thing or another. Sometimes I get a feeling that Santana has a lot of responsibilities at home and that is why she is always so detailed orientated and obsessed with timeliness. Or maybe it is just one of many unique personality quirks.

We pull into Santana's circular drive way and I can't help but stare at her house. A lot of the houses in Lima Heights Adjacent are old and not well maintained. Actually pretty much all of the house are that way except for the forty or so homes that make up the housing community where Santana's house is located. Santana's house is by far the nicest. From the outside it looks like it has two stories above ground and a basement. It is this creamy tan color and has maroon shutters on all the windows and the front door is maroon. The front door is really like two doors, although I've only ever seen one door open. On that door is this large black door knocker, it looks really fancy. I'm actually kind of intimidated by it so I always ring the door bell. Today is no different; I ring the bell and wait for someone to answer it.

* * *

When Santana answers the door I can feel my smile grow. I missed my best friend and now I get to spend the whole day with her shopping. I notice a list sticking out of her purse as she steps out of her house and closes the door behind her. I should have known Santana would make a shopping list for back to school stuff. She is always ten steps ahead. Santana smiles back at me, at first she looked a little stressed when she opened the door but now it appears that she is relaxing and is ready to go shopping.

I reach my mom's car first and open the rear passenger door for Santana. I hope she'll slide over to the other side of the back seat so I can sit in the back with her. This is kind of my test to see if Santana wants me to sit next to her in the back. I figure if she makes room for me then she wants me to sit back there with her, if she doesn't make room for me then maybe she would prefer if I sat up front. Thankfully, Santana slides all the way over giving me plenty of room to sit in the back with her. I catch a glance from my mom in the rear view mirror as Santana lets out a soft giggle. I wonder what she is giggling about already. I move my hand from fastening my seat belt to linking my pinkie with Santana's. Anymore it feels weird to be near Santana and not have our pinkies linked. Linking my pinkie with Santana's gives me this sense of comfort I've never felt before.

The silence in the car is deafening. It is a hot summer day and all of the car windows are down. It is days like this that make me want to blast music as we cruise through the town. I adjust my seat belt and lean into the front seat turning up the radio as I give my mom a pleading smile. She smiles back, her way of telling me it is okay to turn the radio up. I can't wait for the day that I have my own car; I will be driving around windows down stereo blasting all the time! I return to my seat and look to Santana; she appears to be lost in her thoughts. As soon as I start to sing Santana is shaken from her thoughts and starts to sing along with me. She has an incredible voice!

As we pull into the mall parking lot Santana starts texting someone. I wonder who else she texts besides me. I'm sure she has other friends from her old school. I hope that when school starts up we will still spend a lot of time together, I mean she is my best friend and I really don't want to spend time with other people if she is not there. Santana is checking her phone again and smiling at whatever the message said; I really wonder who else makes her smile. I love making her smile it is one of the best things ever.

I fling open the car door and climb out from the backseat. Santana may be distracted texting other people but I will pull her back to me. I really love shopping and getting to go shopping with Santana makes it even better! With my pinkie still linked with Santana's I start skipping and pulling Santana along with me. She is so distracted it is difficult to shake her from wherever her mind has gone. Suddenly I feel Santana's pinkie slip from mine. I turn around and see that Santana has slowed her pace, why doesn't she want to walk next to me, she has never let go of our pinkie hold before.

"What's wrong S? Why did you let go?"

"It's nothing B, I just want to walk."

I know there is something more; I know that Santana isn't telling me the whole truth. I believe that she really does just want to walk but there is a reason for that. I hope I haven't offended her or embarrassed her in some way. I never want to be an embarrassment to my best friend. Sometimes I just get carried away and just do things because I really don't care about what other people will think, but I know that Santana is not like that.

Nonetheless, I want my best friend to be happy and if she just wants to walk then I will just walk along with her. I walk to her and re-link our pinkies. I can't help but smile when Santana lets me re-link our pinkies and walk towards the mall together. I'm glad that our pinkie link isn't what upset her, I don't know what I would do if she didn't want to link pinkies anymore. It has become such a piece of who we are together.

Santana leads the way into the mall. I bet she has already planned out exactly where she wants to go and in which order she wants to go to the stores. Santana is all about being super efficient. To my surprise Santana stops in front of the mall directory. I can't help but feel out of sync; I assumed that Santana would have pulled us straight to the first store on her list, which she would have already mapped out, she would have memorized the directory weeks ago. Why is she stopping to read the directory, this is so not like Santana.

"So Britt, where to first?"

Wow, Santana is letting me choose where we go first; she is giving me control. Santana likes to be in control, she has her process that she likes to follow and she is letting me choose first. It may seem like a trivial gesture to most people but to me this means everything. It means that Santana is willing to let me have a say in the things she does, she would only to do this for her best friend. I don't want to disappoint her or let her down so I make sure to scan every possible option. I look up and down the directory. As I'm scanning the list I feel my tummy growling; I'm starving. I decide that starting with food sounds like a good place, but nothing to heavy just something to tide us over. I point to the pretzel stand.

I feel Santana tighten her pinkie around me and pull me in the direction of the pretzel counter. When we get to the food court my mom instructs Santana and I to find us a table while she gets us all a pretzel. The best part about getting a pretzel is the nacho cheese sauce you get to dip the pretzel in and they have the best fresh squeezed lemonade. My mom approaches our table carrying a tray containing three pretzels, three containers of nacho cheese dipping sauce, and three freshly squeezed lemonades. My mom is amazing; she always knows what to order. We sat in utter silence as we all stuffed our faces with our pretzels. Apparently I like the nacho cheese more than my mom and Santana; I end up eating the majority of my mom's sauce and a fair amount of Santana's as well. As I sit sipping away at my delicious lemonade Santana looks up and locks her eyes on mine.

"Okay Britt, now where do you wanna go?

"I don't care S, wherever you want to go?"

I really don't care where we go. I know that no matter what store Santana chooses I'll be able to find clothes that I'll like. I see Santana glance at my mom; I wonder if she is worried about choosing the wrong type of store. My mom gives me a lot of free reign when it comes to selecting what clothes I wear and when it comes to back to school clothes I'm not typically limited on how much I buy, as soon as I don't go too crazy. Santana stands up from the table and throws away all of our garbage. When she returns to the table she links her pinkie with mine and pulls me in the direction of the first store she would like to shop at.

I hear my mom behind Santana and me shifting the bags in her hands. I know we have beyond worn her out today and we still have to buy back to school supplies. My mom is carrying some of my bags in her left hand and some of Santana's in her right. Santana insisted on carrying all of her own bags but my mom insisted even more that Santana allow her to carry a few of the bags. Needless to say Santana conceded and allowed my mom to carry a few of her bags. Both Santana and I are weighted down by numerous bags as well. It feels like we may have purchased a store's worth of clothing today.

As I watch Santana walk towards the car a brilliant idea creeps into my mind. I can't believe I hadn't thought of this earlier. Santana and I haven't had a sleepover since cheer camp and I would really like to have one before school starts, which means this is the last weekend we can do it. I wonder if Santana will want to sleep over tonight, she was distant earlier today but we did have a lot of fun while we were shopping. Santana pulls me from my thoughts.

"Hey Britt, what are your plans this evening?"

"Well, I'm hoping you can stay the night, I haven't asked my mom yet, I wanted to know if you wanted to before I asked her. We haven't really had a sleepover since cheer camp and that wasn't really a sleepover."

"I'll have to ask my mom to make sure it is okay with her but I really do want to!"

Santana and I reach my mom's car and quickly load our bags into the trunk. I love how my mom is always prepared with her key fob. I'm not sure how she would manage her car if she no longer had her key fob with remote start; especially in the winter.

"Well ladies, it looks like we did a lot of damage today! Britt-bee, your father would be shocked if he saw this trunk."

"Mom?"

"Yes sweetie"

"I'm wondering if it would be okay if Santana stays the night?"

As I ask my mom I make sure to give her my sappy sad eyes and accompany it with a pitiful pout. My mom can't resist my pouting ways and she knows that if she tells me no I will continue to look sad and pitiful the rest of the day. This is like the only persuasive power I have over my mom so I only use it when I really want something. I don't want her to become immune to it or anything. I hear that can happen, like if germs are exposed to a certain medicine long enough, but not so long that it kills them, then they become immune to it and the medicine is no longer effective. I can't lose the only medicine I have against my mom.

"Oh you two! You're too perfect for each other. You'll be the death of me, but of course it is okay for Santana to stay the night so long as her parents are okay with it. I take it this idea was recently hatched since Santana did not come with overnight stuff."

I guess you could say the idea was recently hatched. I mean I have been thinking for a while about needing to have another sleepover before school starts so I guess that is when the idea was created, like when a baby chicken is created in an egg. And then I thought about the idea for a while and kinda just let it sit there in my head, like how a baby chicken just waits in its shell. And then bam the idea hit me today and hatched from my thoughts into a plan, just like how a baby chicken hatches from its egg when it's ready. So yes this idea was definitely recently hatched. I nod my head along with Santana so my mom knows I heard her; she gets frustrated when I forget to respond to her questions.

"Well Santana we will take you home first so you can drop off your massive amount of bags and for you to pick up what you need for tonight. Then we can grab a couple of pizzas and maybe grab some movies for tonight? How about we go buy your back to school supplies in the morning? I'm worn out after being in the mall for so long."

Pizza, movies, and more shopping with Santana tomorrow; I can't think of a better way to spend our last weekend before school starts! Once again I nod my head along with Santana; I hope she is as excited about this weekend as I am. We're going to get to spend almost the entire weekend together this is amazing! As Santana calls her mom to ask for permission I can't help but hold my breath in anticipation of what her mom is going to say. I really hope she says yes, I mean I'm so excited already; I'll be completely devastated if she says no. When I hear Santana tell her mom that she will be by to drop off her stuff and pick up overnight stuff I can't help but let a squeal escape. Part of it is because I was holding my breath the other part because I just don't know how to contain my excitement. My mom said yes and Santana's mom said yes which means I finally get to have a sleepover with my best friend.

* * *

As we climb into the back of my mom's car I slip my pinkie around Santana's. I can't be near here without wanting to have a part of me touching here; our pinkie link seems to be the easiest way to achieve this. When I look at Santana she smiles at me; this is not any ordinary smile this is a smile that is showing me how happy she is in this moment. It warms my heart to see her happy like this, at the start of the day she seemed stressed and worried but now it has all melted away and she can't help but smile.

Santana and I causally chat during the ride trying to decide which movie we would like to rent. The truth is I really don't want to rent a movie, I would much rather spend the evening talking to Santana and enjoying our time together before school starts. I know that once school starts we probably won't get as many opportunities to have sleepovers and since it took all summer to get this one, I want to make the best of it. As we approach Santana's house I remember the goal I have about getting to see the inside of this amazing home, as well as how many bags Santana has to carry into the house, my perfect opportunity to get inside!

"S, do you want help carrying your bags inside?"

I watch as Santana mulls the idea over. I can literally see the wheels in her head turning and then her walls building up. I don't understand why she puts these walls up. Why doesn't she trust me? I feel like I have been a reliable friend but for some reason she refuses to rely on me.

"It's okay Britt, I can manage. I'll be back in like five minutes or so, you should keep your mom company."

I can't help when my smile disappears as I hear Santana's response. I just don't understand why she is so resistant to letting me see the inside of her house. Whenever we hang out it is at my house, we never just chill at her house. Sometimes I wonder if she is ashamed of me,, if she wants to hide me from her family, but I have met her mom, briefly. She is a really nice lady, super short, just really small. I can see so much of Santana in her mom, kind but fierce, gentle yet determined, a constant protector. Perhaps that is just how the Lopez family is; loving but always on guard. I just want to break through that protective barrier and discover all there is to know about Santana. I feel Santana gently squeeze my hand as she steps from the car; I know she is trying to reassure me. I smile at her; I don't want her to feel bad about being how I know she is. I know Santana is not like me; it is going to take her time to arm up to the idea of trusting someone so openly. I'll wait for her to be ready; she is my best friend and already means the world to me.

I watch as she runs to her house, it's like she is running away from me, away from the truth I know she wants to tell me. She'll tell me, someday. She closes the door quickly behind her, closing away the truth, away a part of herself. I feel like this will not be the last time that I watch Santana close a door to me. She is, by far, the most incredible person I have ever met, I just wish she could see how amazing she is, I fear that she cares too much about what others may think and not enough about what will make her happy.

"Brittany sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I just feel like Santana either doesn't trust me or she is ashamed of me or something. I just feel like she is either hiding part of who she is or she wants to hide me from her family. I just don't understand it."

"Oh baby girl, I'm sure it is nothing like that. You are special in the way you trust people and open up to people. You trust without qualification and you love openly. Not everyone is like that, in fact, very few people are as welcoming with their heart as you are. Santana cherishes you; I saw that the first day you two hung out at the house together. Did you notice that Santana purchased every piece of clothing you said you liked on her and did not purchase a single item that did not receive your approval?"

"Really? Thanks mom! I guess I'm just worried that I will embarrass her because I'm such a goofball sometimes."

"Sweetie, I bet one of the things Santana likes best about you is that you're such a goofball. You two really are perfect for each other. She will help keep you grounded and determined whereas you'll keep her light hearted and cheerful. You two complete each other in a way very few people ever find."

I smile at my mom and look over to Santana's house. I feel better about things now. My mom is right Santana does value my opinion and I'm sure one day she will feel comfortable enough to tell me about whatever she is hiding. I just need to be patient and let her find the way to open up. Santana has opened up to me more than anyone else, of that I'm sure. At cheer camp she was cold and distant to everyone except for me. She went out of her way to help me and make sure I was on time for things. I just need to let her work at her own pace and one day she will let me all the way in; I will be hers and she will be mine.

I look at the clock on my mom's dashboard and notice that Santana has already begin in the house for like ten minutes. Within seconds of noticing the time Santana sends me a text message telling me she is sorry for taking so long and that she will be out in a minute. I can't help but laugh at this. My mom is right we are like perfect for each other.

"Hey mom, Santana just sent me a text, she says she's sorry for taking so long and that she'll be out in a minute."

My mom bursts into laughter. I have no idea what she is finding so funny. I give her a questioning look and wait for her to regain her composure before asking her what she finds so funny. Apparently she read the confusion on my face.

"Perfect for each other!"

"Mom, I think I'm missing something, what is so funny?"

"Brittany you and Santana are so perfect for each other it is ridiculous!"

"What about that text message makes you think we are perfect for each other. I would never text to apologize if I had only taken ten minutes that would be like a land speed record for me."

"That's my point! Santana does everything you don't and you do everything she doesn't. I know that one day you will be late for curfew or something and it will be Santana texting me and apologizing for you being late. She will claim that it is all her fault when in fact it had been your fault for taking too long doing something. Then when you walk in the door you'll act like it is no big deal while Santana will follow you in the house continuing to apologize and begging us to not be mad at you because it is her fault."

I think about what my mom just explained and start to laugh hysterically. I laugh because she is right that is exactly how the situation would play out. I witnessed that at cheer camp. Santana was always willing to take the heat in order to protect me, but she was also so particular about being timely that she made sure we were never late. In the future, if we are ever late, I know for a fact that it'll be my fault and not Santana's. I applaud my mother's brilliance as I laugh because I know she has us completely pegged already. I wonder what else my mother observes about Santana and my friendship.

Santana opens the car door and quickly slips into the car next to me. I completely missed her coming out of her house and running, I'm sure she ran, towards the car. She apologizes to my mom for taking so long, my mom winks at me, smiles, and gestures to Santana to not worry about it. I can tell that my mom is enjoying the fact that her point has been made. I glance over to Santana and instantly notice that she is beyond frustrated. She explains to me that she had to show her parents everything she bought; I can't believe she was able to do even that in ten minutes. It would've taken me ten minutes just to decide what to pack for the sleepover. I know she is upset and I just want her to relax and be happy again.

"Well, at least they didn't make you do a fashion show and try everything on for them. That would be a lot of fun though; we should have a fashion show S."

My simple fashion show suggestion seems to have done the trick. After mere seconds Santana relaxes and a smile returns to her face. I'm glad that I know how to get Santana to relax. She always seems so stressed and at odds with herself; she is too amazing to always be so wound up. I watch her face as she mulls over my statement; her smile growing as she continues her analysis of my statement. Santana always thinks things over in her mind. It's like she is constantly marinating things, even the smallest of things.

* * *

My mom pulls the car into the video store parking lot and since I really don't want to watch a movie tonight, and neither does Santana, I suggest going to get snack food instead. My mom mumbles something about wanting to watch a movie. Maybe I like cuddling so much because my mom likes cuddling. I doubt she even watches half of the movies she rents; I'm pretty sure she only rents them so she has an excuse to make my dad cuddle with her. We only have fifteen minutes to pick out our snacks, although I'm pretty sure it will take my mom at least twenty minutes to decide which movies to rent that she won't watch.

Santana and I walk over to the grocery store and once we are inside we walk directly to the junk food aisle. I'm stoked that Santana seems to want junk food just as much as I do; I know that once cheerleading starts up we won't be allowed to gorge on junk food. I look at all the delicious options available and know that I must have chocolate no matter what so I quickly grab some M&Ms. I see Santana grab Twizzlers, which I love, but I'd rather have a sweeter chewy treat so I grab some gummy bears. I love gummy bears; they are one of my most favorite treats even if I feel a little bad when I bite their heads off. Why do gummy treats have to be animal shaped? We continue to grab treats making sure to get something salty to go along with all of our sweetness. After grabbing some soda, I'd usually get Dr. Pepper but I'm not really feeling that sweet of a soda today so I settle on some 7-Up, we head to the checkout counter.

My mom had slipped me a twenty when I climbed out of the backseat; I quickly hand the cashier the money when I notice Santana reaching for her wallet. Santana is sweet like that, always wanting to pay for things and offering to do things that are completely unnecessary. She is such a good person.

"My sleepover, my treat!"

I smile at Santana as she bashfully returns her wallet to her small purse. I hope she doesn't think I'm trying to take control; I just don't want her to feel like she has to pay for everything. I don't want her to feel obligated to take care of me or something. I also never want her to feel like I only want to be her friend because of her money; she means so much more to me than that.

Santana is amazing. I pay and so she grabs the bag. That's just the way Santana is I don't think she could ever give over control one hundred percent; she has to be involved, she has to have a job. This is why being head cheerleader was even more important to her. There is something about Santana, something that drives her to have control over things, to be able to micro-manage things. I wonder why she does this, why does she feel the need to take on so much responsibility all the time. It's like she's already an adult in some aspects. Oh well, at least she has both bags in one hand so she can link her pinkie with mine!

As I expected my mom is taking longer in the video store than she thought she would. She opens the trunk and unlocks the door with her key fob while waiting in line at the video store. Ever since my dad bought my mom this car last Christmas she has not once used the key to unlock a door or the trunk. I wonder what she will do if they key fob ever breaks on her. Santana places the bags in the trunk while I slide into the backseat.

When Santana scoots in next to me I take both of her hands in mine. I can't help but notice how incredibly soft her hands are and how warm they feel against my hands. I kind of just want to hold them forever. I shake the thought from my head and turn our hand holding into a game of speed slap. Santana's palms rest on top of mine, I can feel the warmth of her hands spread onto mine. I tickle her palm softy with my index finger. As Santana raises her eyes to look into mine, a small smile begins to appear on my face. I know she is distracted, I know this because she is looking at me too intently. It is the look she gives when she is lost in her own thoughts. Like a bolt of lightning striking the ground I slap the top of Santana's hand. She removes her eyes from mine and shakes loose her thoughts and her hands. I really hope I didn't slap her too hard. She places her palms back on mine. I watch as her eyes travel my face and land on my lips. She stares at my mouth like all of my secrets are kept there. A smile begins to creep across my face again. I go to slap Santana's hand but she moves it out of the way before I can. I swear I had her, I thought she was distracted again but I was wrong she was reading me and this time she read me better than I read her.

"Sorry about the wait girls, the video store ware really busy, but I think I picked out some great movies!"

My mom always thinks she picks out the best movies. I bet anything she rented all comedies, most likely three total movies, she always rents three, two will be romantic comedies and the other will be some manly comedy for my dad. I take the bag from my mom as she hands it back. Let's see there is the _Wedding Date_, _Monster-in-Law_, and _Sahara_, just as I predicted. Two romantic comedies that my mom really won't play attention to because she will cuddle up and fall asleep after five minutes yet still be content to know that in the end the girl got the guy, and a comedy for my dad to put in once my mom falls asleep. She is so predictable. Santana places the movies back in the bag and places the bag up front.

* * *

The car bumps as we pull into my driveway; I squeeze Santana's pinkie mine. I am beyond excited about our sleepover tonight! This is our first official sleepover and I want it to go perfectly so that Santana will want to have more sleepovers at my house. She squeezes my pinkie back; I know it is her way to silently communicate that she is also excited. Santana and I have quickly developed our own secret unspoken language. It's like I know what she is thinking when she smiles a certain way or when she furrows her eyebrows together. We no longer need words to express what we think and feel to each other. With our bags in hand I pull Santana towards my bedroom; I just want to officially start our sleepover. Unfortunately before I can even begin talking to Santana I can hear my mom calling us from downstairs.

"Girls please come here."

I sense my own disappointment at the interruption and shrug my shoulders. I allow Santana to walk out my bedroom first and I follow behind her. When we reach the living room, my mom is sitting on the couch with the phone and a phone book. I completely forgot about ordering pizza! I love pizza it is one of my all-time favorites.

"Where do you guys want pizza from and what toppings do you want?"

I never care where we order from as long as I get my favorite toppings and my mom knows what my favorite toppings are so why is she even asking me this question.

"I want pepperoni and black olives, Mom, geez you know what I like on my pizza. I don't care where you get it from as long as it's delicious."

I smile at Santana after reminding my mom what kind of pizza I wanted. Oh, Santana, I guess my mom wouldn't know what kind of pizza she likes. I hope she knows she can order whatever she wants; she doesn't have to eat what I eat.

"Santana, do you have any pizza preference, you're eating as well so I want to make sure we get something you like and that you're not allergic to."

My mom knows the perfect things to say; especially after I have been so speedy and impulsive with my response. I can't believe I didn't think to consider that Santana may want something different then what I wanted.

"Oh, sorry, I'm not allergic to any foods. What Britt said works fine for me, actually it sounds really good."

It warms my heart to know Santana thinks my favorite pizza toppings sound really good. It just another thing we can have in common. Although, I wouldn't mind splitting a pizza in half and only having my favorite toppings on half of it and Santana's favorite toppings on the other half; the truth is as long as I'm sharing something with Santana I'll be happy. I lead the way back to my room and Santana follows closely behind. I can feel her eyes watching my every move. I like that I'm not the only one that stares.

I grab an assortment of nail polishes and nail supplies and sit them on the floor next to Santana. I then grab her left foot and start to give her a pedicure. She has the smallest most delicate feet I've ever seen. They are super soft as well, like softer than a feather. I run my finger up the middle of her foot and watch as her toes curl in response. I shy smile spreads across her face; she is lost in her thoughts again. I return her smile and start to paint her toe nails.

I look up when I have finished her left foot and notice that Santana is still lost in her thoughts. I take her right foot into my lap and begin to paint her toe nails. I watch as the color smoothly glides over the surface of each nail. Coating each one; hiding them behind a layer of color. That's what Santana does; she hides behind her walls afraid of what she may reveal about herself. But one day her walls will come down just enough to let me in. I look up at her and smile wondering when she will feel safe enough with me to let me in. Her eyes catch mine and she shakes her head at me and smile. It is this silly little gesture she does when she catches me catching her lost in thoughts. I think about asking her what she was thinking about when I hear the doorbell chime. At that moment my starvation wins out and a leap. Santana remains sitting on the floor tightening the lid on a bottle of nail polish.

"Come on slow poke let's go get some pizza!"

I take Santana's hand and help her to her feet. She drops the bottle of nail polish as I guide her out of the room and down the stairs to where the pizza awaits us. My mom peers around the corner of the stairs just as I reach the bottom stair. Pretty sure the sight of me right in her face startled her as she jumps back. I can't help but laugh at my mom; she looks like she's seen a ghost when really it's just me and Santana. I hear Santana's stomach growl as we stand there waiting for my mom to regain her composure.

"Someone's hungry."

I reach over and tickle Santana's belly; I can feel her abs tighten as she laughs. The sound of her laugh causes me to laugh. I love her laugh; it's like the one time she lets her guard down and exposes a small piece of her. She slaps my hand away from her belly. I laugh again as I take her into the kitchen. My mom has spread the pizza boxes across the kitchen counter and placed a stack a paper plates out on the counter. I grab a plate and hand it to Santana and then take another for myself. Usually I would let my guest get their food first but I know that if I did that with Santana she wouldn't get like any food. So I take the lead and fill my plate; I'm starving so I'm certainly going to eat. Plus I know once cheerleading starts and my dance classes pick up I won't be able to eat such unhealthy food all the time. Santana and I sit at the dining room table. She is really sweet; she actually waits for my parents and sister to sit down before she takes her first bite of food.

I glance over at Santana and can tell that she is lost in her thoughts. She scans the table carefully looking at each of my family members and the faintest of furrows appears on her brow. She is analyzing something about my family. I wonder if she is comparing us to each other or if she is comparing us to her family. I wish I knew what went on in that head of hers. My dad starts to tease my mom about ordering so much food. I laugh at their playful banter. I look forward to the day when I have a relationship like that. A relationship where I love the person so much that we can tease each other without hurting each other's feelings.

"So are you girls excited for school to start on Monday?"

"Oh my gosh Dad, I can't wait for it. Santana and I are going to get matching backpacks tomorrow. Maybe some of our other supplies can match as well. I dunno. But it is going to be so much fun. When mom took us to register last week the school let us pick lockers right next to each other. And they are top lockers, sixth graders usually never get top lockers, but since we are cheerleaders they let us. I guess the cheer coach likes to have all of the cheerleaders' lockers right by her office and since we are captains we get top lockers!"

I guess maybe I should have let Santana talk first but I'm just so excited for school to start that I can't help but share my excitement. I realize now that I must have spewed out my excitement though because I have to take a couple of deep breathes after finishing. I watch as my dad smiles at me and turns to look at Santana.

"I'm really excited too. This year will introduce us to how classes will be organized in high school. Plus we will start cheerleading on a daily basis instead of a couple of practices a week. And we will actually get to cheer at games and stuff so that will be a lot of fun. I think the best thing about school starting is that I will get to see Brittany every day."

A squeal escapes from my mouth as Santana finishes speaking. I can feel nervous butterflies frantically flying around in my tummy. Am I really the highlight of school starting for Santana or is she just saying that to be nice. It feels like the swarm of butterflies in my tummy are about to launch into outer space as I ponder the thought that I may really be the best thing Santana can think of about school starting.

I lead the way up to my room. I haven't stopped thinking about what Santana said to my dad. When we are both inside my room I turn around and wrap my hand around Santana's.

"S, do you really mean what you said to my dad?"

"About what Britt?"

"About getting to see me every day is what you are most looking forward to with school starting."

"Of course I meant it Britt, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

I lunge towards Santana wrapping her in a big bear hug. This is the nicest thing someone has every said to or about me. I'm not sure what I did to deserve a friend like her but I'm more than delighted to have her as my friend. I think I could hug her forever. It feels warm to have Santana's arms wrapped around me, embracing me.

* * *

I cannot believe that three weeks of school have already gone by. This year is moving so fast. I love cheerleading more than I ever thought I would. It is a lot of hard work but it is such satisfying work. I get to use my love for talent and dance all the time to help create amazing routines. Working with Santana and Quinn is fantastic. We are like Neapolitan ice cream; each uniquely different and amazing to have by individually, but when combined it's even better. I should have Neapolitan ice cream at my birthday party. I guess coach Sylvester was right, we do make any amazing team of captains.

It's only five thirty in the morning and I'm already up and ready for school. I don't mind getting up early, actually I kind of like it because I get to see the sunrise. I love a rising sun; it's like the sun is bringing the promise of a new day, the promise of new opportunities. Plus being up so early helps me make plans for the things I want to achieve in the day and finish any homework I didn't complete the night before. Sometimes I get distracted by Lord T. and forget to finish my homework at night. But if I don't finish it before cheerleading practice in the morning Santana always helps me when after practice. Even though I know she would rather take a nap before class starts, Santana hates getting up early, she either helps me with homework or just hangs out with me.

Santana is the world's greatest best friend. She is always with me and sticking up for me. I have said a few things in class already this year that people have tried to make fun of me about, but Santana always shoots them a nasty look before they say anything. I'm really not stupid, I just say things to make people laugh but they don't get the joke sometimes and laugh at me instead because they think I'm stupid. I'm glad I have Santana. That's why I asked her to sleepover after my birthday party on Saturday.

I thought about having Quinn and maybe a few of the other cheerleaders stay over but in the end I know that I can only be my crazy self with Santana, she is the only one that gets me. Sometimes I think she understands me better than I understand myself.

* * *

It's finally Saturday, my birthday! My party starts at two but Santana will be here around noon to help me decorate. Really I just want to spend more time with her. I know she is super particular when it comes to details so she probably won't like the way I decorate but I'm sure she'll be okay with it.

My mom and I went to the store last night and bought streamers and balloons to decorate the house with. I couldn't decide on one color or even two colors to decorate with so I picked out rainbow colored streamers and we picked an assortment of multicolored balloons.

This morning my mom surprised me with breakfast in bed. She does this every year so I guess it is not that much of a surprise but I love it nonetheless and act surprised every year. I wonder if she'll send me breakfast or something when I go to college; I really loving getting my favorite breakfast on my birthday. Every year she makes me stuffed French toast with homemade syrup. She brings me a plate of French toast and a big glass of orange juice and it is the most amazing thing I eat like all year. She makes it other times during the year but there is something extra special about it when she serves it to me on my birthday while still in bed.

I spend the rest of my morning cleaning my room; I don't want Santana to have to wade through the piles of clothes that liter my bedroom floor. I make sure to change my sheets and comforter; I take off the Pound Puppies comforter, it's my favorite but I don't want anyone who may come into my room to see it and make fun of me about it. There is something about being in sixth grade that makes everyone think they need to suddenly grow-up and stop being a kid. Personally, I never want to stop being a kid. I love the innocence of youth.

I hear a car pull into the drive-way and look out my bedroom window. I recognize the car immediately; its Santana's abuela's car. Santana's abuela has dropped her off at my house a lot. I think it is amazing that she is so close with her abuela. I wish I was that close with my grandmothers but they don't live close to us. One lives in Colorado and the other lives in Maine. I run from my room, down the stairs and out the front door.

I'm lucky to have a best friend that is willing to spend two hours on a Saturday helping me decorate for my birthday party. I run towards Santana and wrap her up in a hug as soon as I reach her. She buckles into the hug a bit, I guess I shouldn't have leapt into her with such force, I mean she is pretty small. I feel Santana's chest heave as we hug. This happens a lot when I hug her; it's almost like she can finally breathe again.

I link my pinkie with Santana's and lead her into the house. Once we are inside the house I turn to shout the front door and Santana walks towards my bedroom. She has this little bounce in her step as she walks away from me. I stare as she walks up the stairs and disappears into my bedroom.

While Santana is putting her bag upstairs in my room, I gather all of the supplies we will need to decorate the house with. Then I put the presents my parents gave me on the dining room table; this way people will know where to put any gifts they have brought. Next I grab the birthday cake from the kitchen counter and place it on the dining room table. My parents will be chilling in the kitchen during the party for the most part so I want to have anything I need from the kitchen in the dining room so I don't have to bother them. The only thing I can't setup right now is the ice cream.

Santana descends the stairs and places the gift she brought on the dining room table next to the ones my parents gave me. She really didn't have to get me a gift; helping me decorate is a good enough gift. Oh well, that's Santana for ya, always making sure to be as sweet as she can be, at least to me.

I begin to randomly hang streamers throughout the living room while Santana hangs some in the dining room. Once all the streamers are in place I take some balloons and randomly disperse them throughout the dining room and living room. I watch as Santana stands back and looks at the two rooms and then starts to move things around. She is trying to balance out my random placements. This is one of those traits about her that I adore; she likes things to look perfectly the same, balanced.

"What's the fun if everything looks the same S?"

"Sorry Britt, I can't help the impulse sometimes."

"Don't worry S, I'll get you to relax later."

I know how Santana is and I know she needs to relax. Later when everyone is gone I'll cuddle up with Santana and watch a movie. This is what my parents do so it must be relaxing. Plus that last night at cheer camp this is what Santana and I did and she fell asleep right away. I consider telling her my plan but the doorbell rings interrupting my thoughts. I walk to the door and let Quinn in. I'm not surprised to see that she is the first of my guests to arrive, well besides Santana. Ever since cheer camp Quinn has become insane about being early to things. Of course if you were on time or God forbid late at cheer camp you would pay for it in blood, sweat, and tears.

The rest of the afternoon is full of birthday party games, eating, and opening presents. I get some really fantastic presents. My favorite by far is the journal I receive from Santana. It is leather bound and has my name embossed on the cover. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, well besides Santana. The leather feels soft in my hands; like Santana's touch. Everything about this journal reminds me of her. My other presents are nice and I am grateful for them, the CDs and clothes and movies, but none can compare to the beauty of this journal.

Eventually the only people remaining at the party are the girls on my cheer squad. I figured since I didn't ask them to stay the night I could at least invite them to stay a little longer than the rest to hang out. I feel guilty as I watch my parents clean up the mess in the dining room from my party. I'm about to get up and help them clean when I hear Quinn clear her voice, which is her way of demanding attention.

"Let's play truth or dare!"

I guess that could be fun as long as Santana plays as well. Santana had been standing of to the side; I think she had been pondering helping my parents clean as well. I look up at her pleading for her to play; I really don't want to be a party pooper, even if it is my party. As the game plays along it seems kind of lame. One my first turn I say dare and Stephanie dares me to do a dance. I love to dance and I'm a really good dancer so I don't understand why she would have me dance. No one ever calls on Santana I think they're all afraid of her. On my second turn I say dare again and Lindsay dares me to a cartwheel. I go out into the front yard as they all watch from the living room window. I have been working on a no-handed cartwheel forever and I thought this would be the perfect time to show it off. I stand back and then lunge my body forward; successfully completing the cartwheel with no hands. I keep a smug look on my face as I walk back into the house. Even Santana has a look of shock on her face; mission accomplished. When I get called on for a third time I decide to choose truth because the dares have been pretty lame, even if I got to show off my new talent.

"Truth"

"Have you ever been kissed by a boy?"

I don't know why Quinn would ask me this question. We had talked about this on the bus at cheer camp, briefly, in between her stories about her amazing summer vacation. She knows I haven't kissed any boys. I feel embarrassed to answer this question. I feel like there is something more to this question.

"No. I've never been kissed."

All the girls, except Santana, start to laugh at me. They start talking about how girls are only popular if they have been kissed. That being kissed means you're desired and that desire equals popularity. I know that most of these girls had never been kissed before the start of the school year. I guess a lot changes when you get into middle school. I feel so lost and embarrassed as my cheeks turn bright red.

"Whatever, this game is so stupid! Let's just watch a movie or something." Once again Santana saves me.

Santana leaves the circle and grabs _Beauty and the Beast_. I know Santana doesn't really like this movie. The only reason it is out is because my baby sister Ashley was watching it this morning while my mom made breakfast. I'm not sure why Santana chose this movie until I see the effect it has on the girls. None of them are particularly interested in watching 'a little kid's movie,' as Quinn calls it, and so they all leave. I love how Santana knows how to get rid of a problem so quickly.

Santana and I clean up the living room and carry all of my presents upstairs. I look at the presents again and my eyes naturally fall on the journal; I can't wait to write my first journal entry tonight.

* * *

I drop the presents in my arms on my desk and then pick up my new, beautiful journal and place it on my night stand. Santana places the presents in her arms in the same place and then walks over to her cheer bag and grabs out her pajamas and toothbrush. I walk into my bath and Santana follows. We stand in front on the mirror silent brushing our teeth. I really want to be happy and have fun tonight but the girls laughing at me and making fun of me is burning in my mind.

"Britt-Britt, what's wrong?"

I place my toothbrush back on its charger and can feel the tears burning in my eyes. I close my eyes hoping to make the burning stop, hoping that I can gain my composure and not ruin this evening with my silly feelings getting hurt. My tears heat my checks as they fall freely from my eyes. I look up and can see that Santana is genuinely concerned about why I'm upset. I guess it is better to tell her than to keep it a secret.

"I just want them to like me, I want to know that I have friends and I don't understand why kissing is so important. I don't like any of the boys at school and certainly not enough to kiss. Really I only like one person enough to kiss."

I can't believe I just said that; I didn't mean to say that it just slipped out. I cover my hand with my mouth to prevent any more words from flooding out before I can stop them. I watch Santana desperately. I pray I haven't freaked her out or anything.

Santana reaches up and pulls my hand from my mouth. My heart races in my chest. It's pounding so hard against my rib cage; I'm sure Santana can hear the thudding. I can hear my pulse in my ears, my world is caving in. Then I feel Santana pulling me closer to her and slipping her other hand on the back of my neck. She pulls me closer and closer. I watch as her eyes flutter shut and then her lips touch mine. It feels like I have electricity running through my body. My lips tingle and the hairs on my arms rise as Santana's lips caress mine ever so gently. I understand why people kiss now. It feels like, I don't even know. It's better than amazing. It's better than perfect. This is its own unique word; I've never felt anything like this in my life. I feel everything that is great in life all at once; and all of it is trying to escape from my heart. My heart is beating faster than it has ever beaten; Santana is leaning completely into my body, she must feel my heart beat against her body.

The kiss ends. Santana smiles at me and walks out of my bathroom. I stand there frozen, unsure of what to do next. The world comes flooding back all at once. I realize how cold my bathroom is, I hear the water running from my sink, and I taste the remnants of the kiss Santana just placed on my lips. I don't understand why Santana had done that. Is she trying to tell me that I'm desired so I can be popular? The kiss has brought up more questions than answers but I don't care. I feel happier than I have ever felt in my life, and for now that is enough.

I cautiously walk into my room. I'm not sure what I should be expecting when I see Santana. Her brow is once again furrowed; she's thinking, no she's worrying. She's worrying about the kiss. I can read her worries all over her face. She kissed me because she wanted to but she is worried about why she wanted to. But I wanted to kiss her just too and I'm not mad about her kissing me, I wish we could do it again. As I look at her I know now is not the time to discuss all this and even if I wanted to I think she has other plans. She reaches under my pillow or her pillow for tonight and pulls out a small box. I didn't put that there.

"This is something I wanted to give you but it's just for you I didn't want the others to see me give it to you."

Another present, this is too much! Santana has already given me so much today. Helping me decorate, the beautiful journal, saving me from the girls, and the kiss, it's all more than I could ever ask for. I take the box from Santana and slowly open the box. Removing the lid from the box I see a small charm bracelet inside. I take the bracelet from the box and notice the single charm hanging from it. It's in the shape of a heart with my initial on it. How perfect is it that on the day Santana makes my heart feel the fullest it's ever felt she gives me a heart shaped charm.

"S, this is beautiful! Thank you so much! Will you put it on me?"

I stretch out my left arm as Santana takes the bracelet from me. She fastens the bracelet around my wrist and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. I lift my wrist and admire the way the charm dangles from the bracelet. I have the most amazing best friend. I give Santana a hug, trying to express all of my gratitude for her in that single embrace. She pulls away from the hug and takes my hand leading me towards my bed. There is a look of worry in her eyes that makes my pulse race as panic sets in.

"Brittany there's something I want to tell you."

* * *

I watch as Santana struggles with herself. She struggles with the truth; she struggles with letting her walls down. There's something she wants to say; something she needs to say. She has been thinking about this all day. I can tell that she wants to share, that she needs to share. She just doesn't know how. She doesn't know how to let me in.

"Santana, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything! You're my best friend."

Tears fill Santana's eyes; only moments ago it was my eyes that filled with my tears. I watched as sobs racked my best friend; I watched as she crumbled before. I had no idea what I should be doing. I didn't know how to soothe her, how to calm her worries. She lifts her hand and wipes away the tears. I should be the one wiping away those tears; I should be comforting her. But I don't, I don't know how. I sit quietly and motionless as I wait; I wait for her to be ready, for her to let the walls down and to let me in. My mind races with thoughts of what she may be about to tell me. It could be anything; there are so many awful possibilities.

Santana starts to talk about her brother. I had no idea she had a little brother. I sit and listen as she tells me about his illness and his physical impairments and about all the amazing things he is still capable of doing even though he is limited. I listen to her tell me about how much he means to her, about how much she loves him. I watch her face as it twists and turns representing a thousand different emotions all at once. She begins to shake as her emotions and sobbing get a hold of her. This is when she needs me most of all. I reach out and pull her into me. I rest her head against my chest as cries. I gently stroke her hair and just let her cry. I doubt she has ever told this to anyone. I doubt she has even told her parents about how she feels. I feel her sobbing slow; and when it has stopped completely and all that remains is the silence and her head upon her chest I decide to talk to her about her brother.

"What's your brother's name?"

She has told me everything about her brother except for the most important thing, his name. A person name is the first thing you should get to know about a person. I knew Santana's name before I even knew it belonged to her.

"Manuel Santos Lopez, but we usually just call him Mannie."

"I like that name, I like the nickname even more!"

I can almost picture an even smaller and male version of Santana. Full of attitude and fight; strength and spirit that is unmatched. I love the nickname Mannie, it's playful and enduring. I bet Santana's abuela was the first person to call Manuel "Mannie." Santana's abuela is the only one I have heard call Santana "Sannie," I think that is her thing. Nicknames, Santana's abuela likes to give people nicknames. I laugh at the thought of this feisty Spanish lady giving these adorable and precious nicknames to her grandchildren. I know that Santana has just shared something that is very difficult for her to share. It doesn't change my opinion about her or her family; well, maybe a little but only in the sense that it makes me love her even more and understand why she is always so grown-up in some sense.

"Thanks for telling me about you brother S. I'd like to meet him one day, when you're ready of course."

"You will Britt, I promise. I trust you!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thank you for your comments. I'd love to know what you think! I know I have rated this story M and it will eventually have M content but it won't be for awhile. I hope to have weekly updates now that school is out!

Also I am still looking to bring a Beta on board so if you're interested please let me know!


	3. Chapter 3: I Want You to Know Him

Chapter 3 – I Want You To Know Him April 2006

* * *

At the beginning of the school year I was so worried about being in Middle School. I was afraid I wouldn't make any friends. Scared that people would make fun of me because I don't process things the same way as others, but this year has been amazing. This has been the best year; and there is still just over a month of school left. Then summer vacation! I'm so excited for summer. Santana and I will have a lot of time to just hang out and relax. Although there is cheer camp and that will be a week of anything but relaxation. I really think I would be okay not being a cheerleader but I know it means a lot to Santana and so I will stick by her side. I could never tell her no.

At least this year I don't have to try out for cheerleading and when I go to cheer camp I'll be a captain. I know what to expect this year as well, so the crazy lady in the red track suit won't be nearly as intimidating. Watching tryouts this year and being asked to judge and critique was really awkward. I just laughed along with the comments Santana and Quinn made. Coach asked for our input about who should be on the squad and who should be denied a spot. I really don't like choosing sides or excluding people, so I just went along with whatever Santana did. I knew I could trust her because she would never vote to deny someone a spot just because she didn't like them; she loves cheerleading way too much and is way too competitive to exclude someone who was talented.

While I cannot wait for summer to arrive there is one more huddle to tackle before summer vacation. This weekend there is this huge cheer competition. I'm really excited about this competition. First of all, we get to travel for the tournament, which means a long bus ride. I love riding on the bus especially when Santana is riding next to me. Secondly, I choreographed the majority of our competition numbers. The whole team has been working so hard and I'm really excited to see all of our hard work pay off. Of course I'm super nervous about this competition as well. I mean if the judges don't like our routines or if our routines don't have enough difficultly in them and we lose the competition the entire team will be so mad at me. In fact Coach would probably kick me off the team. I shudder at the thought of it all honestly. Would Santana still want to be my friend if I was no longer a cheerleader, if we lost this competition because of me? I really don't want to find out the answer to that question. We just have to win; I'm pretty sure Santana will always be my best friend no matter what.

I know I'm going to be exhausted by the end of this competition. I may have over committed myself. I just don't know how to say no to performing, especially since this competition has so many dance categories. At least at the end of the competition I get to have a sleepover with Santana. And this time we will finally be staying the night at her house. We never stay the night at her house. I was in shock when she asked me to stay the night. I kinda got to a point where I never thought she would ask me to stay the night. I'm really excited to see what her house looks like, what her bedroom looks like. I'm excited to have fun with her whole family. And honestly, I'm really excited to meet her little brother. Occasionally Santana will talk about him. She'll share stories and talk about him when he his sick. It's always hard to hear her talk about him when he is sick because I can see her concern and worries etched across her face. She carries such a burden but it is in those moments that I see her walls falls and her heart shine through. A lot of people think Santana's a mean person but she's not; she's capable of so much love, she's just really guarded.

* * *

As my alarm blares at the events of last night coming swirling make into my mind. I was hoping it had all been a dream but no such luck. Quinn's mom had called, she had told my mom about Stephanie's mom pulling out as a chaperone and my mom became way too excited. I wish my mom was excited about spending the weekend with me but I know that's not the case. She is excited about spending the weekend immersed in the cheerleading culture. I guess this is something adults do though; they miss their childhood and try to relive it through their children.

I slowly roll out of bed as I hear my mother's chipper voice calling up the stairs. Thankfully, Santana came over last night and helped me pack for this weekend. She has been such a saving grace for me. Every one of my weakness is a strength for her. I shower quickly and get dressed. As much as I love bus rides I really don't want to be stuck on a bus with my mother. She is going to want to sit next to me and talk my ear off the entire ride and all I really want to do is cuddle up in my seat next to Santana and sleep.

My mom and I load our bags into the trunk of her car. I think it is hilarious that she packed a bag for this weekend on the hope Coach will allow her to ride along as a chaperone. As soon as I shut the car door my mom smiles at me and begins her tirade of excitement. I really cannot handle this for a two hour bus ride.

"So Britt-bee are you excited about the competition? I know you have worked so hard on it and you will do a fantastic job. I remember my first cheer competition, it was such an adventure. My team didn't win, we didn't do well at all but we did have fun. Of course your team is a lot better than my team ever was. I'm actually really impressed how talented you all are. There has been so much change in the world of cheerleading since I was a cheerleader. It amazes me the things you all do know. Gosh, I'm just so excited to see all the teams perform and the differences between today's competitions and how it was when I was competing."

Half-way through my mom's long winded excitement I blank out. All I can think about is how much I just want to stay home and spend the weekend relaxing and hanging out with Santana. As much as I enjoy dancing and I like cheerleading it's just not fun when there is all of this pressure to succeed. I want to do it because it's fun not so I can win trophies or anything. I don't realize my mom has stopped talking until we pull into the school parking lot and I am snapped out of my haze by the sight of Santana standing on the curb with her arms wrapped around herself. She looks like she's freezing. As soon as my room puts the car in park I leap out, grab my bag from the trunk, and jog over to Santana.

I walk up behind her; I can tell that she is lost in her thoughts. She always has this far away look on her face when she's thinking about something. I step up next to her and slip my pinkie around hers. She turns towards me and smiles. Even though it is super cold outside, I feel instantly warmed when she smiles at me. Her smile is just so magical! I'm pretty sure she could convince me to do anything with that smile. I follow her gaze and see her staring behind me at my mom talking to Coach.

"What's that about Britt?"

"Oh my gosh! Mom wants to chaperone the trip. She found out last night, from Quinn's mom, that Stephanie's mom canceled on being a chaperone so now she wants to fill in. She even packed a bag hoping Coach would say it's ok. She's obsessed with cheerleading." I can't help but roll my eyes when I explain the situation to Santana. I'm still pretty frustrated with my mom and her excessive love for cheerleading. I mean why can't she just want to go to support me rather than to feel like she's a cheerleader again.

I continue to watch my mom speak animatedly with Coach for a few more seconds. Then she turns around with the biggest smile I've seen on her face since the day I told her I made the cheer squad. This is just fantastic, now I have to sit next to my mom on the bus and not with Santana because she is going to want to chat my ear off the whole time. Maybe if I put my headphones on she will let me sleep during the ride. I can't help but feel super annoyed that I'll be stuck next to her on the bus rather than next to Santana.

"Oh girls! I get to join you this weekend; this is going to be such a fun trip!" I smile at my mom not wanting her to know how frustrated I am. I know she just wants to feel like she is part of something again. I guess being an adult can be kind of boring so I can't completely blame her for wanting to feel young again. Plus, I don't want to be in a bad mood and ruin this weekend for Santana. I know how excited Santana is about the competition. And she has worked so hard on the routines, I can't disappoint her.

As we stand there waiting for the bus to arrive I scan the crowd to see if everyone has arrived. Not only is the whole team there but so is Jacob. I'm still really surprised that Coach agreed to allow Jacob to come along since he drives pretty much everybody crazy. I know no one really likes him but I kind find him interesting. I mean first of all he has this crazy hair; it reminds me of something you would see at a carnival. Like it's either a clown's wig or cotton candy or something else fluffy; like a cloud. Plus, he is into filming and creating videos. I love the idea of making movies or commercials or tv shows, something.

I feel my mom's arm wrap around my shoulder and for the first time today I feel like I matter to her. I relax into her arm and lean slightly against Santana. I love that my mom has also wrapped an arm around Santana's shoulder. It makes me feel like Santana really matters to my mom as well. I love the idea that my mom cares about my best friend. Santana turns slightly facing me. I smile at her and then notice her eyes go as wide as a saucer. I turn to look at what has left her so completely shocked looking.

Pulling into the parking lot is this luxurious bus. I can't help but stare in amazement at this bus. I had no idea we were going to be riding on such a nice bus.

"Listen up team! You have performed exceptionally well this year and I want to see us have continued success this weekend so I am rewarding you with this bus. I want all of you to get some rest while we drive. Absolutely no talking, I want to see all eyes closed and only hear the peaceful sound of my squad snoring away. When there are twenty minutes left in the ride I and the other chaperones will let you know and quiet time will be over. Now, load up!"

I take a pillow and blanket from my mom and hand her my cheer bag. I grasp Santana's hand pulling her up and onto the bus. No one makes a move for our spot. Everyone on the team knows the last seat on the bus belong to Santana and me. All of my fear about my mom wanting to sit next to me dissipated when she handed Santana a pillow and a pillow and blanket to me; it was like her way of letting me know it was okay for me to sit next to Santana. I take the seat next to the window, placing my pillow against the window and Santana's on my shoulder. I motion for her to lie against me. She whispers a thank you, puts her headphones in, and lies against my shoulder. I feel Santana's weight increase against me, instantly I know she has drifted off to sleep. I love how perfect it feels to have her sleeping against me.

* * *

I try to sleep during the entire bus ride but I can't. I sleep off and on but for the most part I'm too excited about the competition and too mesmerized with the look on Santana's face to sleep. The bus stops off and on throughout the trip. I think Coach might have had a nervous stomach or something. When we finally arrive at the competition school Coach goes crazy. She barks orders at everyone on the bus and tells Quinn, Santana, and I to follow her. My mom takes Santana's bag and my bag. We follow behind Coach to the registration tables. As we follow Coach to the table, Coach instructs the team to get ready for the competition and to find a meeting spot. Pretty much everyone is wearing their pajamas so they have to get dressed for our dance routines. Quinn's mom and my mom lead the team off into the school, while we wait in line at the registration table.

As we wait in line I keep my pinkie linked with Santana's. I really don't know how to stand next to her without our pinkies linked anymore. She examines the registration form making sure everything is correct. I stare at the form but really don't pay much attention. I know Santana's perfectionist personality will prevent her from making a mistake and I really don't understand all the logistics. I have no interests in such technicalities. The ladies running the registration table remind me of my mother. They are super bubbly and seemingly obsessed with cheerleading. I would be anything that they were cheerleaders back in the day and have never learned how to let go. They are nice though. After they hand us a packet of information, Santana and I join Coach and Quinn and walk into the school to find our team.

We find our team in no time and Coach informs everyone that the "Any Style" dance is the first one we will be performing. Apparently we are the third team to perform so we won't have much time to rest. We also won't be able to see the majority of teams perform before we are up. I prefer to perform first so I can set a high bar or perform last so that I'm the last thing on the judges' mind. But third is where we are stuck. Quinn, Santana, and I leave the team to get changed into the correct outfit for the dance routine. The team must have already known which routine we would be performing first because they were already changed into their outfits. I'm really excited about this dance routine. I was given a lot of flexibility with the creation of the routine. I love Hip Hop and Ballet so I infused these two methods into our routine. I then used some Swing moves to help with the transitions between moves. I'm proud of the team for working so hard to perfect this routine. I can't wait to finally perform it, I hope their hard work pays off.

I stand next to Santana on the side of the stage waiting for the first two teams to perform. My heart breaks for the first team. They were so excited before they began to perform. As soon as they took the stage I could see the fear all over their faces. Their music began and within two steps they had lost their rhythm and were completely out of sync. When they walk off stage disappoint was written all over their expressions. I offer them a reassuring smile. I hope they can regain their composure before they perform again. My grip tightens around Santana's finger as the second team takes to the stage. Their composure is flawless. They have complete control over their emotions when the music begins to play. They perform their routine nearly perfectly. While there were a few bobbles in their holds and stances they did an excellent job in performing their routine. When they march past us I whisper a good job to them. They deserve to know how well they did.

I follow Santana onto the stage. She slips her pinkie from mine as she walks to her place on stage next to Marcus. I smile at her and walk to the front of the stage and stand next to Tony. As soon as I hear the first note begin to play I feel my body let go and bend to the rhythm. Tony and I stand in front of the team, leading the dance routine. With each note my body twists and turns. I notice the other members of the team dancing in perfect rhythm and timing. Santana moves her body with such eloquent precision. She looks so beautiful when she is dancing. The routine is completed in mere minutes and with absolute perfection. It's not until the music ends that I notice the audience's reaction. There are smiles throughout the crowd. They are on their feet applauding us, it feels amazing. But there is one smile that stands out, my mom's. There she stands with a huge smile on her face and her hands clapping. Maybe she is proud of my abilities.

We walk off stage and Coach is waiting for us. While she is wearing a smile, I can see is not overly impressed. She is kind and tells us that we performed a perfect routine but reminds us all that there is still a lot of competition to go. And she's right there is no point in becoming overly confident. In a moment of lost concentration we could all fall apart and find ourselves in the same position as the first team to perform. Santana and I link pinkies and return to the team meeting spot.

* * *

I watch as my mom and Quinn's mom hop onto the team bus and head off in the direction of the store. As much as I dreaded the idea of my mom coming along on this trip, I'm glad she is here. Initially I thought she wanted to come on this trip because she missed her days of cheerleading but now I realize I was wrong. Sure she loves being back in the cheerleading world but what she likes most about it is that it is something we can share together. My mom and I enjoy a lot of things together but now we have a whole new activity that we can completely immerse ourselves into, together. Maybe she'd like to help me choreograph a routine sometimes. She may not be a great choreographer or anything but she certainly would like to be involved.

I turn back to the team and start to walk them through the steps of our next routine. For our Modern dance routine I slowed the choreography down a lot and made the moves a bit more ballet like. I wanted to create a number expressing emotions. It's kind of funny, when I choreographed this number the only thoughts in my mind were the emotions that run through my mind when I'm with Santana or thinking about her. She was most definitely my muse for this routine. I love the way my thoughts about her and my feelings about her inspire me.

The team is amazing performing the steps perfectly. A few people could be a bit more precise with their steps but considering everything they've had to learn for this competition I'm beyond impressed with the way they are dancing. Quinn's mom and my mom walk up to the team carrying bags of food. I free the team from our walkthrough; they really do have the steps down. I place my headphones in and follow Quinn and Santana to get food. I grab what Santana grabs. I'm starving right now and could definitely go for more food but I know it would make me sick to my stomach and I don't want to be the girl who throws up mid performance, how embarrassing would that be.

Once I finish my food I change my iPod to the song we will soon be dancing to and put it on repeat. I close my eyes and lean back against the wall. I see myself alone on the stage transitioning between steps. Completing leaps and landing my moves perfectly. I feel like as air when I see myself dance like this. As I watch myself dance I see only one face in the audience; Santana stares watching me dance with a smile on her face, her smile makes me smile.

I really don't remember walking to the stage. I don't remember standing off waiting for our time to perform to arrive. I remember watching myself dance, watching Santana watch me, and her smile. But now here I am, on stage with my team waiting to perform. As the music begins I sway and dance to its rhythm. Tony and I dance together with such grace. He really is a skilled dancer. He grips my hand and twirls me away from him, as I twirl away I see Santana. She has a beautiful smile on her face. I watch as she twirls away from Marcus, his fingers interlaced with hers as they danced. This is how I choreographed the routine but I can't help but feel jealousy surge through my body as I see him dance with Santana. I feel like I should be the one dancing with her. We finish our performance and I walk towards Santana. She is stepping back from Marcus and does not notice me approach. I just need her to be near me. I need to take her away from Marcus. I wrap my pinkie around hers and she turns around to face me.

"You did great S! Your moves were perfect, come on let's get something to drink before our next routine."

* * *

We have like no time between our Modern routine and our Hip Hop routine. The team changes into the outfits for the Hip Hop and returns to our meeting spot so I can run them through the steps. Unfortunately, I really do feel like I'm running through these steps. Thankfully we've spent a lot of time practicing this routine because I'm doing a horrible job at making sure everyone has the steps down right now. I can't help but doubt myself right now. Maybe I went too far with the choreography for this routine. This routine is so difficult and a lot of the team has never taken dance and no one has danced for as long as I have. I shouldn't have made this routine so tough. What was I thinking? Hopefully, we can pull this routine off, if we don't I'd hate to see what would happen.

The team takes the stage and everyone gets into position. I'm thankful that in this routine Santana doesn't dance with Marcus. I just can't bear to his hands on her. I feel the beat of the music coursing through me as I dance the routine. I watch the team in my peripherals, they are stunning. I'm so proud of the team. They have been so amazing. They practice all the time and always pushed themselves further then I ever expected them to, especially Santana. She is the most incredible person I've ever met. It's odd how often she creeps into my thoughts. Maybe she is in my thoughts too much. What does this mean? What does it mean that I can't stop thinking about my best friend? And what does it mean when I think about my best friend as more than just a friend?

With our routine over I wipe the sweat from my face and walk off stage. I need to get away from everyone and just relax. While the team is finished for the day I still have the duet dance competition. I'm so tired and worn out; I just want to curl up with Santana and sleep. As I walk away from the team I feel a gentle squeeze on my arm, without looking I know it is Santana. I know the feel of her hand, the warmth of her touch.

"B, what's wrong? Did something go wrong in the performance that I didn't notice?"

"Oh, no San. I'm just tired and Tony and I still have our duet. I just wish I could rest."

I offer Santana the best smile I can muster. I'm tired and stressed about having to perform again because I feel so exhausted, but I also feel so confused. So lost about the feelings I'm having for Santana. The warmth of Santana's pinkie causes a surge through my body. I follow along as she pulls into an empty hallway. I'm not sure what she's up to but I don't question her; I trust her completely.

"Here B, sit down and rest your head in my lap. I'll watch the time and you can take a little power nap. Sleep for like twenty minutes and you'll feel like a hundred times better."

"Thanks San, you really are the best."

I rest my head in Santana's lap and let my body relax into her. I can't help but feel a hundred percent comfortable in her care. I know she will always be there for me, that she will support me no matter what. It just feels like she was made for me and I was made for her. I curl into her and allow myself to enjoy the few precious moments of sleep I'll be allowed.

"BrittBritt, you need to wake up."

I hear Santana in the distance. Her voice is soft and inviting. I want to always hear her voice like this. It's special; it's the voice she uses only for me. I roll onto my back and blink away the sleep in my eyes. I stare up at Santana's face and return the smile I find plastered on her face. She really is the sweetest person. I feel like I could do anything so long as I have Santana.

"Mmm, you're right San, I feel tons better now!"

* * *

As soon as I find Tony we begin practicing our duet. It may seem silly to keep practicing a dance we've both had memorized for months now but I just feel the need to practice. I mean practice makes perfect, right? I watch as the team leaves from our meeting spot and fills into the auditorium. Tony and I remain out in the hallway walking through steps until we are called to wait in the wings. I still have no idea why they call the side of the stage wings; I mean they look nothing like wings. Maybe it's because when you are standing there waiting is when you really start to get nervous and the butterflies start flying around in your tummy.

The team before us finishes their dance and they were amazing. It was a beautiful dance and the music matched their moves perfectly. It's incredible how many talented people there are in this world. Tony and I take our places on the stage. I stand across the stage from him. Before the music begins to play I look for Santana in the audience. Like a moth drawn to the flame I find her eyes instantly; she is staring at me with such intensity. I smile at her and then notice my mother sitting right next to her, beaming up at me. It actually feels like my mom is proud of me. I hear the music start and lose myself in the dance.

As I dance I can't help but look to my mom and Santana. Both look transfixed on me; both look at me with such love. Warmth spreads through my chest at the sight of Santana looking at me like that; like she actually loves me. But we're so young, too young for love, right? The music ends, I feel breathless and confused. I notice my mom crying and Santana cheering for me. She loves me; I need to be close to her.

I quietly walk up behind Santana and tap her on the shoulder. I probably should sit next to my mom, let her embrace me but right now I just need Santana.

"Hey, can I sit next to you?"

"Of course!"

I take the seat next to Santana and curl my pinkie around hers. I need to be closer to her however that may be right now. Really I just want to get back to the hotel and rest my head next to hers. We watch performance after performance. The duets are beautiful and the music is pleasant. I kind of want to stand and dance with Santana. Let the rhythm of the music guide our movements. While lost in my thoughts I feel the pressure of Santana's head rest on my shoulder. I relax into the feeling of her against me and enjoy the final performance.

The dance ends and the auditorium is filled with applause. It has been a long and exhausting day but finally we are free to leave. I've never been so eager to sleep. Usually I'm a ball of energy but not tonight.

When we reach the hotel Coach distributes out the room keys and gives the team instructions about the plans for tomorrow. I'm too tired to pay attention. All I know is Santana and me are sharing a hotel room with Quinn and Stephanie. I walk into our hotel room and pay little attention to anyone. Stephanie and Quinn walk out of the room but I have no idea where to. I grab some clothes and walk into the bathroom. I need to shower, I feel like I smell and just need to wash away the day! When I finish getting ready for bed I walk into the room and see Santana snuggled up under the blankets. Quinn and Stephanie are still gone. I look at Santana wondering what she is thinking.

"You danced beautifully today Britt Britt! You're an incredible dance."

"Thanks San. You were amazing today to, will you cuddle with me?"

The last part slipped out before I could prevent it, not that I would really want to. I crawl into bed and snuggle up next to Santana. Her body is cool as I adjust myself along her curves. I feel my warmth warm her skin. We are perfect for each other. My body relaxes into Santana and I drift off to sleep.

* * *

There is an annoying ringing in my head. I just want the sound to stop. I feel Santana move away from me so I scoot closer to her. Whenever there is a space between us I feel the cold nip at my skin. Santana shifts in my arms. I can feel her breath on my neck but I refuse to open my eyes. All I want to do is continue to lie here with her. She reaches up and gentle pets my nose. I love when she does this. It's such a sweet touch. Whenever we have sleepovers this is how Santana tries to wake me up. She is always so soft and tender with me.

"Hey Britt Britt, it's time to get up."

Her voice is barely above a whisper. It's calming and encourages me to continue to sleep. I just want a little more time to cuddle with her. I don't want to feel the coolness of the room against my skin just yet.

"mmm, I don't wanna get up. Can't we just sleep another ten minutes, please!"

I feel Santana's head turn away from me. My heart sinks at the thought of her ignoring my plea and getting out of bed anyways.

"Quinn, are you going to shower?"

"Um, yeah. Stephanie and I both need to shower this morning."

"Well, then you need to hurry up and get in the shower because I need to shower as well. You two go first and I'll go last."

"Stephanie can use this shower I'll just go use the one in my mom's room."

I never open my eyes during the exchange between Quinn and Santana. I smile as I listen to the conversation because I know Santana is trying to give me my additional cuddle time. A lot of people think she's harsh but the truth is she's just guarded. Once you get to know the real Santana, you can't help but love her. I feel Santana roll back over and curl into me. Instinctively my arms wrap around her waist. I allow myself to slip back to sleep. Unfortunately, we only get a few moments more. Everything feels cooler when Santana leaves my side to shower. I lie there enjoying Santana's scent before pulling myself from the bed and getting ready for the day.

* * *

As much as I wanted to just stay in bed all day cuddled up watching movies, as soon as we pull into the school parking lot I feel my excitement grow. I'm sore from yesterday but nonetheless I'm energized and ready to perform today. There is something about performing. It invigorates me. I think I'm also feeling better about today because I only have to perform twice instead of four times and I get to watch Santana perform. She is such an amazing performer; I can't wait to sit in the audience and just watch her talent shine bright.

After dropping our stuff off in the school, we head outside to walk through our cheer routine. Coach has us practice the lifts, steps, and our yell. Once she is satisfied that we still remember the routine we have been performing numerous times nearly every day for the last several months, she releases us. As a team we return to our spot in the school and gear up to perform. I place my headphones in my ears just like everyone else but I don't turn my music on just yet. Santana has her music so loud I can hear every lyric. I giggle to myself because if she knew that everyone could hear her listening to O-Town she would be so embarrassed. I shuffle through the playlists on my iPod until I find the one I know Santana is listening to. This is the playlist we created a few months back when trying to come up with songs we could perform to. I find the next song and as soon as I hear it begin to play in Santana's ear I press play on my iPod. I feel connected to her without her even knowing what I've done.

As a team we walk to the performance area and stand off stage until it is our turn to perform. The lights dim as the prior team exists the floor. While we walk onto the performance area I make sure to note where the out of bounds lines are and that I position myself the appropriate distance from them boundary lines. My first pass takes me right to the edge of the boundary and I want to make sure I don't cross that line. The music begins and the lights blaze. The team is incredible. Every stunt, pass, and the yell are performed to absolute perfection. I know they are all feeling the wear down of the competition but nonetheless they are performing with their hearts and souls.

* * *

Santana has a two hour break between our team cheer competition and her individual event. I'm glad she has a nice long break because I know she must be starving. She never eats when she is nervous because she gets sick. Plus we didn't eat dinner last night and since I kept her in bed a little longer then I should have this morning she missed breakfast. I wonder if Coach will let me leave the school to go buy Santana and I something to eat.

We walk, pinkies locked, to our team meeting spot. As we approach the spot I can see my mom standing there smiling. When I see her it makes me think back to the team cheer performance. She was most excited to watch the event but now as I think about it she wasn't in the audience. At least I don't remember seeing her in there; maybe I missed her.

When we reach my mom I see her holding some fruit and a couple of muffins. All of a sudden it clicks. My mom skipped the one event she was most looking forward to in order to go get Santana and I something to eat. She knew we missed dinner and breakfast with the team.

"I figured you girls hadn't eaten so I thought I'd get you something to eat before your next event."

"Thanks Mom!"

I guess, maybe this weekend was more about her spending time with me then just about being part of the cheerleading world again.

"Thanks Mrs. Pierce."

"Santana for the last time it's Cheryl, no more of this Mrs. Pierce nonsense, okay?"

"Okay."

I know Santana struggles with using authority figure's first name. Her abuela is very strict about how adults should be addressed. Honestly, her abuela kinda scares me. She is feisty and beyond strict. I mean we have rules in my house but for the most part my parents just want us to be happy. With Santana's abuela it seems like the most important thing is honoring traditions not happiness. We take our breakfast from my mother and take a seat in the hallway.

I watch as Santana finishes her breakfast and slips her headphones into her ears. She lays her head in my lap and I feel her body relax. I love how Santana lets down her walls for me. How she trusts me so completely. With everyone else she is guarded and always on her toes but not with me. As she relaxes even further into me I run my fingers through her hair. I know how calming it is for her. I know is I ever want to calm Santana down all I have to do is gently rake my fingers through her hair.

I'm lost in my thoughts until Quinn approaches Santana and me. Apparently it is time for them to perform. Santana has an amazing routine for the power tumbler event. I still can't believe she places so many difficult maneuvers in her routine. Even if she has a few mistakes she should win the entire event because the difficultly is crazy high. I give Santana a quick hug and join the rest of the team in the audience. The team has been sitting in here for the entire event but Coach allowed me to hang out with Santana until she had to perform. I think Coach realizes how much Santana and I calm each other.

I watch as Stephanie takes the stage. Instantly I can tell she is nervous. Of course she has spent more time helping Quinn prepare for her routine then she has practicing her own so I understand why she is so nervous. That's another thing I appreciate about Santana. While she asked for my help with her routines she never expected me to prioritize her over myself. We have such a perfect balance. Stephanie's performance is on par with what I expected from her. She fails to stick a couple of her tumbles and has a rotation issue with her back-flip. I'm not sure if she will place or not because I don't know how the rest of the field performed and her difficult is pretty average.

Stephanie exits the stage and I watch as Santana walks on. She is visibly nervous and I just want to run up to her and give her another hug and tell her she will be amazing. I focus all of my attention on her. If she just looks at me I know I can calm her down. Finally Santana locks eyes with me I can see her anxiety written all over her face I do the only thing I can think of and mouth to her "I believe in you. You can do this." I watch as her anxiety melts away and her confidence builds. Santana is incredible; I just wish she could see that in herself without me having to remind her of it. Of course until the day comes when she finds her own strength I will be her strength.

I can't help but sit at the edge of my seat as Santana performs. She is so talented. Every pass is completed with perfection. I'm not sure how she is capable of landing everything with such elegance but she does. Her routine awes the audience. I can hear them but I cannot pull my eyes away from her to look at their reactions. I can see the excitement in her face when her music ends; she knows she had a perfect performance. As much as I know I should stay there and support Quinn I can't; I need to let Santana know how amazing she was. I look at Coach and she gives me an approving head nod. With her approval I rush out and wait outside of the stage doors.

When the stage doors open and Santana steps out into the hallway I can't help but leap at her and give her a huge hug. She is smiling so big, which makes me smile even more. I love seeing Santana so happy.

"San, you were so amazing. You definitely won that! Even if Quinn is perfect you had a higher difficulty and you did it perfectly."

"Thanks B."

I can tell Santana is mulling something over in her mind but I'm not sure what it is.

"Brittany, thanks for being my best friend. I just want you to know that you mean the world to me and I feel so lucky to have you in my life."

"San, you are my best friend, I'm the lucky one. You understand me and my silly ways and it doesn't even bother you! You mean everything to me."

I give Santana another big hug. I just want her to know I really mean what I'm saying. She really does mean everything to me. No one understands me like Santana does. Not even my parents. In fact I think my mom loves Santana so much because Santana helps my mom understand why I am the way I am. Santana is perfect for me.

"There you two are! We have to go practice for the group stunt. Let's go."

Quinn seems so upset and annoyed. I hope she's not mad I left before seeing her perform.

"Sorry Q. How did you power tumbler go?"

"It was fine B but really let's go, we have to walk through these steps we are on in forty-five minutes."

* * *

I link my pinkie with Santana's as she urgently follows Quinn. I feel like I'm being dragged. I understand the importance of practice, I really do, but sometimes I think Quinn and Santana take things too seriously. When we step outside my stomach drops when I see Coach standing there looking beyond mad. She looks scarier than Scar in the Lion King.

"Everything okay Coach?"

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed Coach's anger. I look at Santana and Quinn and both are standing there seemingly afraid to move.

"Yes, it should be fine. Marcus decided it would be a good idea to get pizza with the other guys and stuffed his face. I swear on all that is holy Marcus if you get sick during this routine or miss one single step you'll be off this team! Now, get in your places and let's walk through this!"

I can't help but feel bad for Marcus. He's a boy; they are like always hungry. Plus he was tempted with pizza. If I didn't have Santana with me, making sure I stayed focused all the time, I may have done the same thing. As we walk through the steps I start to notice why Coach was concerned. Marcus is moving a little more sluggishly and is not as focused. Of course his lack of focus may be because he was just yelled at in front of us, and who knows what Coach said to him before we got there. It makes me nervous when Coach doesn't have Marcus and Santana practice the lift and toss at the end of the routine. I know they have practiced it a lot and everything but Marcus isn't really himself right now and we really shouldn't do the stunt if he's not a hundred percent, it's just too risky.

As we head back into the school I consider telling Coach about my worries but I know she, Santana, Quinn, and probably even Marcus would tell me not to worry about it. They'll want to keep the move in; they won't want to take the hit in our difficulty to remove it. But still I'm really worried about Santana's safety; I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her, she means so much to me.

Quinn pulls me from my thoughts. Of course she wants to go through the steps while we wait backstage. I'm not sure why she is so worried about this particular part, I mean I have all of the difficult moves; she basically just has to stand there. I'm very confident in my ability to complete this move. The only thing I'm worried about is Marcus messing up his toss of Santana.

Before we take to the stage I notice Santana standing in the wings. She looks so beautiful and crazy nervous. It is adorable how competition brings down her walls as her nerves take over. I walk up behind her and hug her from behind. Hugging her alleviates my worries and I know it comforts her.

"You can do this San."

"I know I can as long as I have you right next to me B."

Santana smiles at me and I feel my heart race. I love her smile; I think I could look at it non-stop. I watch her as we walk on to the stage. She is graceful as she takes her place on the stage. All I want to do is watch her perform but I know I have to focus on the steps I'm required to complete. The music plays and I go through the motions of the routine. As the routine ends Quinn and I complete our final steps. Santana and Marcus are in front of us so we can see their final move. I watch as Marcus tosses Santana into the air. The toss is perfect and she gets such amazing height. With that much height she will easily be able to complete all the rotations she has choreographed.

Just as I think everything is going to be okay I notice Marcus is not looking up at Santana preparing to catch her. In fact he tossed her at a slight angle so instead of her coming straight down towards him she is going to come down about a foot in front of him. Rather than paying attention he is staring at some girl in the audience, I can see the smirk on his face. My eyes lock with Santana's; I know she can tell by the look in my eyes that something is wrong. I rush forward and try to catch her but I fail, I can't get there in time. Her body crashes to the floor and tears flood down my face.

I feel sick and rush to Santana's side. There on the floor lies my best friend completely motionless. Quinn is by my side in seconds and my mom only moments later. My mom is instructing everyone not to move Santana. I hear people rushing around yelling about calling 911 but I can do nothing but hold Santana's hand and pray that she will be okay.

* * *

Marcus stands frozen in his spot, mouth agape just staring at Santana. This is his fault. I've never wanted to hit someone before but now all I want his to hit him. Hit him until he feels what Santana is likely feeling. I leap to my feet and charge at him. Right before I reach him Quinn and Tony grab me and hold me back. I fight against them; I need to get to him I need him to feel Santana's pain.

"Brittany, calm down. He'll get what's coming to him! We all saw this was his fault. Please stop!"

Quinn begs and pleads with me. I'm lost in rage and anger until I hear my mom's voice.

"Santana, sweetie can you hear me?"

Santana must be waking up. I rush back to her side. Instantly forgetting the rage I have for Marcus. Forgetting how the anger has festered up inside of me. I can see Santana trying to sit up, I know she is looking for me, she needs me. I push my way through the crowd around her and kneel by her side. My eyes lock with hers as I lace my fingers through hers and gently squeeze her hand.

"Don't move San, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I have you please don't move."

I know I have to keep her still. Her injures could be made worse if she moves. I beg her to stay still; I try to remain calm but I know my expression is giving me away. Santana can read my every emotion. My eyes scan her face and body carefully for the first time. She has a large gash on the top of her forehead. Blood is running across her forehead and down her face. I watch as Santana tries to lift her other hand but Quinn is quickly there taking her hand and squeezing it. Quinn's tears match mine. We three sit there without words. Quinn and I both trying to reassure and soothe Santana. I'm so glad Quinn is here with me, I could not go through this on my own. We may not have been friends before this year but we definitely have become friends. I watch as Santana scans Quinn's face. I wish we were better at hiding our fear from Santana but we're not.

"Excuse us, excuse us! Please step aside and let us in."

I hold Santana's hand tightly trying to send her every ounce of strength I have. Suddenly my contact with her hand is lost as I'm pushed aside. I try to fight my way back to her but I see the paramedics have taken my place; I can't push them out of the way. As much as I need to be next to Santana and as much as she wants me to be next to her I know she needs their help even more. They can do more for her right now than I can. I watch as the paramedics tend to her injuries the best they can and prepare her to be transported to the hospital. As they lift her from the floor and start to carry her out on a backboard I can see the tears freely streaming down her face. I need to with her and she needs me just as much, if not more.

"Brittany, Brittany please don't leave me. I need you, where are you. Brittany please!"

I can't let her be alone; I just can't.

"Please can I ride with her to the hospital? She's my best friend I can't let her go alone."

I plead with the paramedics but it feels like they aren't listening. Like they could care less about what a child wants. I look to my mom praying she will help me with this. She knows better than anyone how much Santana means to me and how much I mean to her.

"She has my permission to ride in the ambulance. Please allow her to do so. Neither one of them are going to be okay with the other in this moment. I'll call Santana's parents and let them know what is going on but please let Brittany ride with her."

I've never been more grateful for my mother to be on this trip then I am in this moment. I see the paramedic nod and say okay to my mom and without another word I climb into the ambulance. I sit on the bench next to Santana. I need to hold her hand it is the only way I know I can try to reassure her.

"I'm right here San, I'm not going anywhere. Can I hold her hand, please?"

The paramedic gives me the go ahead and I waste no time taking a hold of Santana's hand. The paramedics finish loading into the ambulance turn on the sirens and leave the school. I feel like the ambulance cannot drive fast enough. I want to be at the hospital already. I want the doctors to take care of Santana. I need them to. My eyes search Santana's face trying to read her every thought but she just seems so lost in this moment. As we hit bumps in the road she becomes sick.

I can no longer stop my tears. I feel so stupid for crying like this; I mean I'm not the one who is hurt. Seeing Santana in this condition is like feeling my heart break. I feel a bit of relief when we reach the hospital. The paramedic tells me to stay where I am until they have Santana out. I sit as still as possible I don't want to distract them from taking care of my best friend. I need them to make sure she is okay.

I follow behind the paramedics as they take Santana's gurney into a room. I stand back in a corner. Trying to stay out of their way and not distract them. I can't help as tears continue to streak down my face but I can do my best to make sure my crying is silent. The doctor speaks with the paramedics, a nurse, and then leaves the room. Where is he going already? Why isn't he staying to help Santana? The nurse tries to reassure me. She tells me Santana will be okay and to take a seat with her until she had to go for x-rays.

I drag a chair next to her bed and grab Santana's hand. I just need to feel the warmth of her hand in mine. I just want to hold her until she feels better. Why didn't I say something to Coach about my concerns? Why didn't I reach Santana in time to catch her? Why did I let my best friend get hurt? This is my fault!

I don't know what to say to Santana. How do I explain to her that this is my fault? She means everything to me and I failed to protect her, how do I explain that? I sit there silent, squeezing her hand hoping she knows how much she means to me.

"Brittany, sweetie how is she? Has the doctor been in? What's going on? Her parents are on their way."

"Umm, she's okay, I think. The doctor came in for like only five minutes and ordered a bunch of tests and then left. He hasn't been back since, no one has Mom. I don't think they are worried enough."

I really don't understand why the doctor hasn't been back in, why no one has. Santana's grip on my hand tightens and I know she is starting to panic.

"I… my parents are coming? I think I'm going to be sick again?"

I watch as Santana continues to struggle. I can tell she is worried about inconveniencing her parents; about worrying them. When it comes to her family she never puts herself first. She always takes the backseat. Maybe that's why she likes to be front and center at school; why she craves popularity and attention. I hear her start to choke and my heart plummets into my stomach. There is nothing I can do for her. There is nothing I can do to make her better.

My mom goes to get the nurse. The doctor follows the nurse into the room and they busy themselves around Santana. I don't why they only now paying attention to her. Maybe if they hadn't left her waiting for so long she wouldn't have gotten sick. The doctor calls radiology and tells them to hurry.

When the radiologist arrives I ask to accompany Santana but she refuses. I beg but she stands firm. I have to be with Santana and no one will let me be. As Santana is wheeled out of the room my mom wraps her arms around me and pulls me back into the room. She leads me over to a chair and has me sit down. I rest my head in my mom's lap and continue to cry. I feel like I've been crying since the moment I saw Santana hit the floor.

"Brittany, Santana is going to be okay, try to calm down before you make yourself sick."

"You don't understand Mom, this is my fault. It's my fault she's hurt. I should have said something to Coach."

"Baby, what do you mean? You weren't the one who was suppose to catch her and you tried to when you noticed Marcus wasn't in position. This isn't your fault."

"It is. Marcus was off, I could tell when we were warming up and practicing. I should have said something to Coach, I should have told Santana to remove the toss, but I didn't."

"Oh sweetie, you know Santana better than anyone, would she have removed the toss? No. You know she would have taken the risk because she wanted the difficulty marks for the routine. The girl goes all out for cheerleading. This is not your fault baby girl."

I'm not convinced by my mom's reassurance; this is my fault, I may not have dropped her but I didn't stop it from happening either. I can no longer fight the urge to sleep. My eyes are heavy and I quickly drift off to sleep with my mom stroking my hair.

* * *

The sound of distant voices wakes me; I rub my eyes and roll onto my back. I feel stiff and there is a pain in my hip, probably from sleeping on a chair. When I open my eyes I see Santana's parents sitting in chairs talking with my mom, but I don't see Santana.

"Where's Santana? Is she back from getting x-rays? How long has she been gone?"

"Shh sweetie. She's not back yet. I'm sure they had to take a lot of x-rays. How about you come with me to get us all some coffee, I have a feeling it's going to be a long night."

I know I wasn't really being giving the option to help get coffee, I'm really just being told what to do. While I don't want to leave, I don't have the choice. I stand up and am greeted with a hug from Santana's mom.

"Brittany, thank you so much for being here with Santana. I know it means a lot to her to have you here."

"I don't want to be anywhere else. Santana is my best friend; she's my world."

I'm not sure why I said that last part but it just felt right. Santana's parents share an inquisitive look with my mom before we walk out of the room. My mom and I walk to the hospital cafeteria and grab four cups of coffee.

"Brittany, sweetheart, what did you mean when you said Santana is your world?"

"I dunno Mom. It's just whenever I'm with Santana I feel really happy and like I am where I'm meant to be. And when I'm not with her I just feel like a piece of me is missing. Like there is somewhere else I should be."

"Okay baby. I just want you to know if you ever need to talk to me or tell me something about how you feel or what you feel or anything just know you can talk to me, okay?"

"Okay mom."

I'm not sure what my mom is talking about but I'm glad to know I can talk to her about whatever I want whenever I need to. When we reach the hallway Santana's room is in we notice the doctor walking towards Santana's room. I hurry up my pace and walk into the room right behind him. The first thing I notice as I walk into the room is the smile spreading across Santana's face. I quickly hand the extra cup of coffee to Maribel and move to Santana's side taking her hand in mine.

"Well I have good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first."

"Please doctor; just tell us what is going on. I'm a surgeon so please give me all the details about my daughter's condition. We have been left relatively in the dark thus far by your staff. I don't even know what type of injuries you were concerned about."

"My apologies for not keeping you updated. It's been a busy day. Moving on, your daughter has quite the laundry list of injuries but considering the height from which she fell I'd say she is pretty lucky."

"What are we looking at doctor?"

"Your daughter has a severe concussion; this is what has me worried most. However, I'm still going to release her tonight since you're a doctor as well and know the warning signs to look for with a concussion. I'm going to recommend that you keep her awake for at least the next twelve hours and then do occasional memory checks after those twelve hours. She also has two broken ribs and a broken right collar bone. She had a laceration on her head which required eight stitches. I'm sure she'll be sore for quite a while, it might be worth keeping her home from school the next week and no cheerleading until she is one hundred percent healed. From the broken bones as well as the concussion."

"We understand doctor."

"We'll going to send her home with some pain pills and nausea medication. She'll have to wear a brace for the next six weeks for the collar bone and we'll place her right arm in a sling to help with the healing of that bone. We'll tape her ribs but unfortunately we can't do much more than that. I'll have the nurse come in and get her unstrapped, I'm sure she'll love to be able to sit up, and take the neck brace off. She'll also administer some meds before taking the I.V. out. Then you can sign the discharge papers and be on your way."

"Thank you."

I sit in silence as the doctor explains all of Santana's injuries to her parents. All I want to do is take care of her. I'm not really sure how I can do but whatever she needs I will do. I watch as the nurse begins removing the straps that have been holding Santana in place for hours. As I expected Santana tries to move and sit up as soon as the restraints are removed. Unfortunately her pain doesn't allow her to lift her body on her own; I take this chance to help her. I do all I can to help; I wish I could carry her completely but I know she would hate that. Hopefully, she'll just let me stay with her so I can continue to help.

"Am I going to ride back with the team?"

"No sweetie."

"Oh, well can Brittany ride back with us then?"

"Of course sweetheart, Cheryl and Brittany will both be riding back with us. The team left hours ago."

"They did? How did we do? Did Coach tell you the results?"

"The team had to get back honey. The team did very, very well. Coach said she has never been prouder of any team she's very coached before. You guys took first place in all three team dance competitions and in the team cheer competition. Brittany and Tony took first place in the duet competition. Quinn took third in the power tumbler event and you took first."

"What about the Group Stunt? Did I ruin it for us? Did my fall cost us the competition."

I can't believe Santana thinks the messed up the Group Stunt. She was perfect. We would have won if Marcus hadn't been such a moron. It's his fault all of this happened not hers. It's his fault my best friend is sitting her with broken and bruised bones and a concussion. And it's my fault. I didn't say anything to Coach and I should have.

"Your fall? Santana you didn't fall! That idiot was so busy starring at some girl in the audience that he missed you. He didn't even try to catch you."

"The drop resulted in a fairly significant deduction but you still placed. You took third in the group stunt. You would have won decidedly so if Marcus had not messed up."

"Is Coach mad at me then? Am I off the team?"

Why on Earth would Santana think she would be off the team? She's is amazing and everyone on the team knows how talented she is. I'm grateful for my mom stepping in and addressing all of Santana's questions because containing the anger I feel in this moment is almost too much.

"Of course not Santana. This wasn't your fault. Marcus on the other hand is in very hot water. No one is talking to him, not even the kid from the AV club."

I watch Santana as relief floods her face only to be quickly replaced with sadness and tears. Why is she crying?

"San, what's wrong? We did an awesome job. You were amazing! Please don't be upset about the Group Stunt, it's really not that big of a deal, plus we still placed."

"It's not that Britt. It's just that because of me you missed the awards ceremony. You did such an amazing job and you worked so hard. You deserved to receive those awards."

I can't help but smile at Santana. Anyone who thinks she is not the sweetest person is completely blind. She is a compassionate and caring person.

"Oh San. I like being a cheerleader and dancing is my passion but in the end you matter so much more. Being there to accept those awards would have meant nothing if you weren't there. I'm glad I was able to be here with you. You are the most important person in my life."

I wipe away the tears continuing to flow down her face. When she is finally released I stay right by her side. There is no where I would rather be then right here next to her. I help her into the car and sit right next to her. My mom sits on the other side of her. I can tell by the look in her eyes she really wants to fall asleep. More than anything else she wants to be sleeping. Unfortunately, she is not allowed to sleep for a long time. My family and I go on road trips every summer so my mom and I know every road trip game in the book. Although, I can't help but roll my eyes when my mom pulls out "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" especially when she tries to change it from beer to root beer, it throws everyone else off. As we pull into Lima sadness looms over me as I realize my sleepover with Santana is likely not going to happen with everything that has occurred today.

"Mom, Dad can Brittany still stay the night?"

As soon as Santana asks the question my heart starts racing. I have never wanted to hear a parent say yes so badly in my life.

"Of course honey, we need someone to help us keep you awake. As long as you are okay with it still, Cheryl."

"Oh yes, of course. That was the plan. If you could just drop me off at the school that would be lovely."

I give my mom the biggest smile when she says it's okay for me to stay the night. She definitely knows how important it is for me to be there for Santana right now. While this trip has had its obvious issues I'm grateful for it because I've gotten so much closer to my mom on this trip. I really think she understands me a little better and I have come to understand her better and realize now that she loves everything about me and not just the cheerleading part of me. She gives me a kiss on the forehead when we drop her off at her car. Then tells me to call when it's time for me to come home tomorrow, I really don't want that time to ever come.

* * *

I follow the Lopez family into their house. To call their house immaculate would be a huge understatement. It is beyond clean and smells like cinnamon. Their house is warm and inviting. It reminds me of walking outside on a warm fall day.

"I'm going to go find abuela, I'm sure she's asleep in the guest bedroom. Why don't you and Brittany go downstairs to the family room and pick out something to watch. Do not go to your bedroom, I know you'll be too tempted to sleep if you go there. I'll make you two something to eat and bring it down in a bit, okay?"

Santana takes my hand and walks me through the house. I wish the lights were on so I could see more of the details. We walk down a set of stairs and I'm worried about Santana. I don't want her to slip and fall on the stairs; I don't want anything else to happen to her. At the bottom of the stairs we enter into a large family room. Even their family room is spotless, it's like they never use it. Santana asks me to help her pull out the bed hidden in the couch. I'm not sure if this is really a good idea since her mom told us we weren't allowed to go to her room. Pretty sure she doesn't want Santana anywhere near a bed right now. But I can't let Santana pull this bed out by herself and I really can't tell her no right now.

"Santana Marie Lopez, you are not allowed to lie on that bed. You need to stay awake. Here are some sandwiches and chips. Come up stairs and get some sodas and whatever else you want. Mannie is being restless tonight so I'm going to go deal with him for a bit. Brittany, I really need your help keeping her awake, okay?"

I knew pulling out the bed wasn't a good idea. I nod at Santana's mom and smile apologetically at Santana. She wants to sleep so badly. We walk upstairs to grab some sodas. Again Santana leads the way and I can't help the nervous feeling flooding through my body. I press my hand softly against Santana's back trying to reassure her I will catch her if she falls. I will always be here to catch her when she falls. I'll never let her get hurt again. I never want to watch my best friend hurt again. As we reach the top of the stairs I think about Santana's brother and how he is still awake. I move my hand from Santana's back and wrap my fingers around her wrist.

"Hey San, can I meet your little brother? I mean since he is awake."

I watch as thoughts flick across Santana's mind. I really wish I could read her mind right now.

"Wait right here, just so I can make sure he's actually awake."

I lean back against the wall and wait for Santana to return. I really hope her brother is awake. I want to meet him and this will help distract Santana from wanting to sleep. Moments later Santana returned, she intertwined her fingers with mine and led me towards her brother's room. I watched as she took a deep breath before walking into his room. It's like that breathe was helping her let guard down. She was letting me into the last part of her private life. After I meet her brother she'll have no more secrets from me. My heart swells with the anticipation.

"Brittany this is my brother Mannie. Mannie this is Brittany."

As I look at Mannie I see all the sweetness in the world swimming in his brown eyes. I take his hand and shake it. His hands are cold but so soft. His fingers are slender and long. He smiles at me and it feels like he is trying to say hello with his smile. I notice he is watching Scooby-Doo and can't think of a better thing to do then to watch with him.

"It's so nice to meet you Mannie. Do you mind if Santana and I watch some Scooby with you, it's one of my favorites."

Santana and I sit on the couch in Mannie's room and watch cartoons with Mannie. He doesn't laugh at the cartoons like I do but you can tell he is completely captivated by them. I think I spend more time watching him watch cartoons then I spend watching the cartoons, until I hear Santana's belly growl. I remember our sandwiches and chips downstairs and leave the room to go get them. I need to make sure Santana is taken care of. We sit there snacking on sandwiches and chips just watching cartoons. It is a perfect way to end this crazy day. After Mannie and Maribel have fallen asleep Santana leads us out of the bedroom and back to the family room. I smile at Santana when she turns to me; then she steps towards me and gives me the most amazing hug. It is soft and tender; a perfect hug.

"Thanks for everything today Britt."

"San, you're amazing. And Mannie is like the cutest little boy ever. I'm so glad I now know everyone in your family you're all so fantastic. I can't even tell you how much you mean to me."

There is only one way I know how to express how much Santana means to me. I lean in and place a soft kiss on her lips. My heart soars as I feel her start to kiss me back. As we kiss I feel Santana's lips separate, I mimic her actions and part my lips. She leans further into me deepening the kiss. My head swims as I lose myself in the tenderness of her lips, the heat of her breath in my mouth. I think she was made for me.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thank you for your comments. I'd love to know what you think! I know I have rated this story M and it will eventually have M content but it won't be for awhile.

Also I am still looking to bring a Beta on board so if you're interested please let me know!

In case you are new here, if you would rather read this story from Santana's POV check out the story "My Love For Him Led Me to You." I promise I'm really going to work on updating quicker... I think to do this I will be making shorter chapters.


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